RANGER AGAINST WAR: Oh, Ralphie! <

Friday, March 18, 2011

Oh, Ralphie!


I've never seen you looking
so gorgeous as you did tonight

I've never seen you shine

so bright you were amazing

--Lady in Red
, Chris de Burgh

He thinks he is a flower to be looked at,

And when he pulls his frilly nylon panties right up tight,

He feels a dedicated follower of fashion

--Celebrated Follower of Fashion
,
The Kinks

____________________


On the B-side of The Week magazine featuring Muammer Q. was this advert for Ralph Lauren Polo. It upset Ranger (note his marginal comment: "I'd rather be shot dead than dress like this.")

He was recently perusing some photos of himself at about the same age as this model, and none featured the cultivated accouterments, like pink shorts or waspish waistcoat. Probably the fact that he wears simple, block-colored RL shirts concerned him most, as he wonders if this is the new updated version of manhood, 2011-style. If so, definitely not his steez.


His summary comment: "This is a girly-boy, and he gets laid more than any soldier, I'm sure." Is "getting laid" vernacular for something more, like the pleasures of female company in a more catholic sense? As his demeanor is in the mold of the strong-and-silent Gary Cooper, the answer to that question shall remain an enigma.

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6 Comments:

Anonymous Dr Who said...

"These are the times that try men's souls" are the first line our great Revolutionary Patriot, Thomas Paine, wrote in his 1776 pamphlet to the directed to the common man wisely named, 'Common Sense'. When I first read this post and Ranger's aside, 'I'd rather shoot myself' than look like that', I chuckled and thought, damn straight. Rangers second comment, "This is a girly-boy, and he gets laid more than any soldier, I'm sure.". Now, I was really puzzled, hypoxia, bad mushrooms? That led me to follow the threads, Quadaffi, Granny's, supermarket cheats, Oh Ralphie....? Was there a disconnect or something much more meaningful going on in our collective unconscious.
Japan's nightmare has been on my mind and grinding me. I've noticed it's an effort to do anything . OK, take a personal trauma inventory; Vietnam, Professional Firefighter, 9/11, Japan, Mid-East/Africa insanity. Ok, I can see it now, where after 9/11 it took two years for me to have that moment of clarity. I'm at least aware thus ahead of the curve.

Ralphie's game is a shallow ploy and an external badge of 'identity' that means nothing in real life. Naked humans need badges. I have my own badges, Ranger has his. My common sense tell's me I'd rather be in a shitstorm with a man like Ranger, who would lay down his life for a stranger, than faux, "strong-and-silent Gary Cooper" who is anything but an enigma. Keep up the Fire,

Saturday, March 19, 2011 at 7:37:00 AM GMT-5  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I kinda dress like this guy and am not getting laid, so no worries, dudes. me being somewhat of a jerk with little money to spare might have something to do with that, though. anyway, i'm sure a guy like this could wear a potato sack or a dress and still find a dozen ladies near the trendy clubs of Manhattan or Paris that would be more than happy to polish him up if you know what i mean. badda bing! and if it makes you feel any better the chicks that are into dudes like this are usually wacky on the mornin aftas tabaccy if you also know what i mean. ka ching!

Saturday, March 19, 2011 at 10:49:00 AM GMT-5  
Blogger Lisa said...

Avedis,

No apologies needed re. the mannish women, for I am not one. Nor do I think they are a great development for society. Like you say, if they don't already hit for the other team (or even if they do), they like they like their boy toys.

Thing is, a boy toy need not look fey. The strongest "Marlboro men" can be so shallow they do not know when they are being played, often by the pixiest-seeming wench. I fear the "little ladies" far more than the "pants-wearer", as you call them, for at least I know what I'm dealing with there.

Hence the problem with games.

Sunday, March 20, 2011 at 2:25:00 PM GMT-5  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

analogies anyone?

eating glass :: reading this blog

maybe that was a little harsh. but really now-- this is some seriously stilted prose....

i think ranger protesteth too much about girly men and their frilly panties. the manly men in my family would have just ignored them

Tuesday, March 22, 2011 at 8:32:00 PM GMT-5  
Blogger Ghost Dansing said...

hmm... gender benders

Thursday, March 24, 2011 at 6:08:00 PM GMT-5  
Blogger Lisa said...

G.D.,

Nice to see you ... we'll have something new up soon. (I'll do something on atavistic sexual relations and I s'pect you'll have good insight.)

Thursday, March 24, 2011 at 6:33:00 PM GMT-5  

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