Thursday, November 10, 2011


"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet"

---Romeo and Juliet
(II, ii)

This is a trifling detail from a serious story in today's news, but it dovetails nicely with an esoteric thought, namely: is naming destiny?

From a story on a
missing Tennessee woman, Karen Johnson Swift, who had recently filed for divorce, was this odd tidbit:

On Saturday, sheriff's deputies arrested a neighbor of the Swifts', 39-year-old John E. Hogshooter, on an outstanding felony warrant for animal cruelty. Hogshooter is accused of poisoning two dogs, including one that belonged to the Swifts.

"[Hogshooter's] arrest was based solely on the outstanding aggravated animal cruelty warrant and that is a felony," Sheriff Box told the Dyersburg State Gazette. "We basically waited on the lab results to come back from the TBI on the poisoning and they confirmed it."

Because Hogshooter allegedly poisoned Swift's dog and lives in close proximity to her residence, investigators impounded his vehicle and searched his home after she went missing. Authorities did not find any items connecting him to Swift's disappearance and do not consider him a suspect.

A friend facing a judgment in traffic court knew she was sunk when she came before Judge Doom. Dr. Graves is an AIDS advocate. Well, the list goes on and on. They are called aptronyms -- names that fit the possessor's occupation. I have come across so many in my life, I wish I'd kept a list as they are often bizarrely amusing.

Do you have any personal experience with naming-as-destiny? Have you ever had to contend with this phenomenon?


Join us @ brother blog
MILPUB 15 November for the maiden voyage of the Military Book Club. It doesn't matter if you've never attended a book club before -- the is NOT YOUR MOTHER's book club!

Get your questions ready

Reading: David Kilcullen's, The Accidental Guerrilla

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

A dentist named Dr. Paine and an orthopedic physican with a specialty in spine problems named Dr. Achenbach. Then an attorney of Asian heritage named William (went by 'Will' for short) Sue.



Thursday, November 10, 2011 at 12:41:00 PM GMT-5  
Anonymous Brian said...

Well, my wife's dentist is named Bridge.

And my surname is Train, which generated fewer jokes each time I ran a recruit platoon....

Thursday, November 10, 2011 at 12:51:00 PM GMT-5  
Anonymous Blackhawk said...

The 'Top' Sargent in my basic training company in Ft Dix, NJ, class of 1965 was Sgt. Lovejoy.

Harder than an coffin nail, he was a doppleganger for heavyweight boxer Sonny Liston,and a hell of a lot more lethal.

'Top' had a PHD in the the art of swearing and to this day whenever I hear the word 'dickhead', I spin my head...

Thursday, November 10, 2011 at 4:32:00 PM GMT-5  
Blogger Lisa said...


Will Sue is worthy of Car Talk's signoff.


Doppleganger, you say? I have a story about that ...

Thursday, November 10, 2011 at 5:00:00 PM GMT-5  
Anonymous Deryle said...

Back in the day, with some brave colleagues,I spent a lot of energy to get my friends and neighbors in N.Alabama to understand that boiling water with a critical mass of radionucldes was not a sensible way to keep the lights on.

We'd be passing out info--good info that the Tennessee Valley Authority, who was running the plants-- to this day, never figured out how came our way, our friends and neighbors would roll by and call us "Nukers."

Naw, shithead, you got the wrong folks. We're ANTI-Nuclear.

"War is peace"

There it is.

Thursday, November 10, 2011 at 7:39:00 PM GMT-5  
Blogger rangeragainstwar said...

Major Major in Catch 22.
We had a Ranger with the last name of Ranger.
We called him.....
I also knew a Sgt. Sergeant.

Friday, November 11, 2011 at 10:19:00 AM GMT-5  
Anonymous Carl said...

From my old PD:
Sgt Savage
Sgt Sparkman
Sgt Sparks
Constable Lawless
Const. Shute
Const. Sheppard
Const. Love


Lots more but you get the drift..

Saturday, November 12, 2011 at 8:09:00 AM GMT-5  
Blogger Lisa said...

Constable Lawless -- my fav :)

Saturday, November 12, 2011 at 11:47:00 AM GMT-5  
Blogger rangeragainstwar said...

too bad Lawless wasn't a judge.

Monday, November 14, 2011 at 9:14:00 AM GMT-5  

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