RANGER AGAINST WAR: Fantasy Terrorism: It's Only a Game <

Wednesday, December 02, 2015

Fantasy Terrorism: It's Only a Game

They're still fighting
With their tanks and their bombs
And their bombs and their guns
In your head in your head they are dying
The Cranberries

Sleigh bells ring, are you listening
In the lane, snow is glistening
A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight
Walking in a winter wonderland
--Winter Wonderland,
Dean Martin 

This world's divided into two kinds of people:
the hunter and the hunted.
Luckily I'm the hunter. Nothing can change that
--The Most Dangerous Game (1932) 


We have passed into Turkey Time, which means entering the twilight of the gridiron heroics and, for those who want too much of a good thing, the Fantasy Football Leagues. It occurred to Ranger while considering his Affordable Terrorism Act (ATA ©) that the United State's anti-terrorism plan looks a lot like fantasy football.

Imagine Fantasy Terrorism as a new American pastime: we can give $50 million to the person or group who kills Osama bin Laden, or $25 million to the 50 people who kill the Number 2 man in charge of al Qaeda (as we have done numerous times in the last 12 years.)

We can shift terrorists from one group to another and even allow them to change group designators and locations before putting a bomb strike out on them.

We can grant bonuses to the fantasy anti-terror team members that make the more spectacular kills in cafes and restaurants, with the highest fees going to those who can breach the terrorist's home and kill him in his jammies, preferably with a wife standing by.

Bonuses given for innovative torture sessions and successful kidnappings. (Unofficial bonus: a book contract and movie licensing fees.)

The Phony War on Terror (PWOT ©) is a game that anyone lacking previous subject matter knowledge can play. The ending is a foregone conclusion: the players are designated losers, because the terrorists control the tempo of operations. Therefore, they have the initiative, putting us on the defense.

And everyone knows that defense does not win wars.

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