God's Gift

I've never been so happy as since the time I learned the stork was headed my way.
June Allyson

The blessed virgin has spoken. "This is a baby. This is a blessing from God," so said Mary Cheney, the VP's daughter, regarding her fetus, achieved via undisclosed sources. Perhaps it's the stork what brought it.

Ms. Cheney "has not said how she became pregnant," but I'd say there was some spermative action involved, either through intromission of the male organ, or scientific intervention (artificial insemination.)

If the former, then this is a difficult issue for those of a conservative stripe, as it implies at least one sexual encounter outside of her monogamous 15-year partnership with Heather Poe.

If scientifically conceived, I'm sure that Mary speaks for a great many Americans when she equates a test-tube baby with the munificence of an all-good God.

But if this, then this is not a gift from God, so much as a deposit made by someone who whanked off in a beaker, plus some good scientific techniques. And as Ms. Cheney said, she has the incredible good fortune to "have the financial means" to avail herself of whatever intervention was necessary to achieve the feat. God smiles upon those with the greenbacks.

Strangely, this devotion to the test-tube deity among party faithful does not extend to the endorsement of stem-cell research. In effect, her test tube God is good; mine is evil.

I will not pass judgment nor question the motivation of Mary Cheney, but the scenario is a bit bizarre, and shines the light on the hypocrisy of her father's ilk.