Secret Suffering
"That explains it, then," Sam said disgustedly. "That's what
you were doing in Vietnam. That explains what the whole
country was doing over there.
The least little threat and America's got to put on its cowboy
boots and stomp around and show somebody a thing or two."
--In Country, Bobbie Ann Mason
Don't let the past remind us of what we are not now
--Suite: Judy Blue Eyes, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
To do evil that good may come of it is for bunglers
in politics as well as morals
--William Penn
__________
The marginalized character Emmett says of himself, "There's something wrong with me. I'm damaged. It's like something in the center of my heart is gone and I can't get it back." This dumbstruck sense of loss and damage is a feeling shared by many in our country now.
There are layers of misery this Ranger has witnessed, as everyone has, and one of them was the Republic of Vietnam. As a participant my perspective was much too personal and immature to fully realize the lie that was the war.
Ranger's life was dedicated to that lie, as that is what professional soldiers do. They ignore the lies and focus on words like duty, honor, sacrifice, country, and courage.
But nowhere in the Vietnam lie were there secret prisons, U.S. government-sponsored torture, murdered prisoners and secret dark sites in far-flung places.
Jane Mayer's piece in this week's New Yorker magazine, "The Black Sites," is a must-read. It won't make you happy, but it will make you informed. Not necessarily one and the same in this America.
Vietnam was still a lie and a circle of misery for the people of Vietnam, and of course, the wounded and killed on both sides bore that misery. But my Army and my war did not embrace such antithetical practices. It is all just part of a new lie.
But where is the protest? I remember protest. Where is the moral indignation? Where are our leaders? Why do we as a supposed beacon of freedom accept that our taxes support "secret sites" and presidentially-sanctioned torture at these sites?
Sending a dozen lowly enlisted men to prison on torture charges does not staunch the bleeding from the gaping wound that has been inflicted these six years on America's democratic principles, nor does it change the fact that American "democracy" is now a cruelly perpetrated hoax and a joke to all who have served and suffered in previous wars.
America never was lily pure, but only the fringes were questionable; now the center is corrupt and the fringes are silent.
Ranger's America is fast-disappearing -- like a mirage. America is not, was not and shall not be synonymous with words like "walking the dark side," secret sites, prisons and aggressive questioning.
Why is America silent? This is how it always starts.
This silence is another level of misery. Like Emmett, America's heart is damaged and the center is gone.
We must get it back, or America is a thing of the past.
There are layers of misery this Ranger has witnessed, as everyone has, and one of them was the Republic of Vietnam. As a participant my perspective was much too personal and immature to fully realize the lie that was the war.
Ranger's life was dedicated to that lie, as that is what professional soldiers do. They ignore the lies and focus on words like duty, honor, sacrifice, country, and courage.
But nowhere in the Vietnam lie were there secret prisons, U.S. government-sponsored torture, murdered prisoners and secret dark sites in far-flung places.
Jane Mayer's piece in this week's New Yorker magazine, "The Black Sites," is a must-read. It won't make you happy, but it will make you informed. Not necessarily one and the same in this America.
Vietnam was still a lie and a circle of misery for the people of Vietnam, and of course, the wounded and killed on both sides bore that misery. But my Army and my war did not embrace such antithetical practices. It is all just part of a new lie.
But where is the protest? I remember protest. Where is the moral indignation? Where are our leaders? Why do we as a supposed beacon of freedom accept that our taxes support "secret sites" and presidentially-sanctioned torture at these sites?
Sending a dozen lowly enlisted men to prison on torture charges does not staunch the bleeding from the gaping wound that has been inflicted these six years on America's democratic principles, nor does it change the fact that American "democracy" is now a cruelly perpetrated hoax and a joke to all who have served and suffered in previous wars.
America never was lily pure, but only the fringes were questionable; now the center is corrupt and the fringes are silent.
Ranger's America is fast-disappearing -- like a mirage. America is not, was not and shall not be synonymous with words like "walking the dark side," secret sites, prisons and aggressive questioning.
Why is America silent? This is how it always starts.
This silence is another level of misery. Like Emmett, America's heart is damaged and the center is gone.
We must get it back, or America is a thing of the past.
Labels: Black Sites, secret rendition, soul of country lost, torture
posted by rangeragainstwar at 7:16 PM
4 Comments:
God, what a depressing post, especially because every word of it is true and visceral and heartbreaking. The pendulum will swing back, I know it will, but this chapter has been written. Your analogy describing the difference between the faults being at the core as opposed to the fringe is a wonderfully clear metaphor for sorting out the distinction.
Also, thanks for the CSNY quote - you have a great way of making those dusty messages come to life again!
d.k., you touch the core of my dilemma which is the depressive nature of my wring and observations but i can't blow smoke up your ass and tell you it's sunshine.My writing weighs on my soul. Ranger Jim
i too was a sincere believer whose faith was shaken deeply by my experience in viet nam. i once caused a near riot in a ready room by pointing out that the villagers we were charged with helping and protecting called this phase of the nearly forty years of continuous conflict they had been enduring "the american war." they had successively endured invasion and occupation by the chinese, the french, the japanese, the french again, and then us. all we were to them was a new set of faces in what had to seem like a permanent state of war.
what i find depressing is not so much the current state of affairs but the lack of any clear vision for a way out.
it is sad, indeed.
MB, you left out the Brits. They took the Japanese surrender, disarmed them and rearmed the Quisling Frenchmen.Let,s keep the scorecard current. Yes, it was their country and our war. jim
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