RANGER AGAINST WAR: Bloated <

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Bloated

Oft did the harvest to their sickle yield,
Their furrow oft the stubborn glebe has broke;

How jocund did they drive their team afield!

How bowed the woods beneath their sturdy stroke!

--Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard,

Thomas Gray


I carn't not believe this incredible fact of truth

about my very body which has not gained fat since

mother begat me at childburn.

Yea, though I wart through the valet of thy shadowy hut

I will feed no norman. What grate qualmsy hath taken me

thus into such a fatty hardbuckle

--"No Flies on Frank
" (from
In His Own Write,)
John Lennon

____________
___


Well, we don't know how many of their furrows were broke by stubborn glebes, nor how jocularly they drive their teams, but as the Baptist church house doors opened after services today expulsing their flock one commonality was clear: every last one of them was fat. And so what, you say?

Ever making connections, Ranger thought about the implications of the avoirdupois/theological nexus, understanding that our neck o' the woods is a somewhat parochial area, its citizens generally not given to the level of fitness one might see in parishioners exiting, say, Grace Cathedral in San Francisco.

From the pulpit streams a reliable schtick to support the troops, if the troops are mentioned at all. What this means in the New America is "consume," with the blessings of President Bush. Get thee tax rebate checks to a WalMart SuperCenter near you. God has blessed us so let us eat 'til we bust, spend 'til we are broke buying what we do not need, and fight wars to protect it all. If you should get sick in your existence minus healthcare, "you can just go to an emergency room," as the munificent President Bush said.

This brought to mind the economic bifurcation between the fatties and skinnies. To be fat today one must [a] have enough money to buy quantities of savory food, or [b] be poor and so purchase foods that provide maximum calories to extend your minimum amount of dollars, which usually translates to fats and cheap carbohydrates.

To be skinny one must [a] Have enough money to own a gym membership and shop at Whole Foods, or [b] be poor and hungry. Many do not understand how a person can be on food stamps and be heavy, but that is often the result of poor, cheap food choices.

Let's all get fat and go to church, or is it, go to church and get fat? If you have money, you can pick up some CLA and and buy the latest Denise Richards tape with your groceries. God will save us and in any event, heaven is right around the corner where they are waiting for you to change into your new, "glorified" body.

--Lisa and Jim

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8 Comments:

Blogger masadasucks said...

insulting denise richards is not allowed

Monday, June 30, 2008 at 3:12:00 AM GMT-5  
Blogger rangeragainstwar said...

masadasucks, we were not insulting anybody- as always we were stating observable facts about fat asses in America.
Having said that -i'd insult my mother and the pope if it'd help end this stupid , pigheaded PWOT.And the churches are a part of it- they provide the cheerleading section . jim

Monday, June 30, 2008 at 9:16:00 AM GMT-5  
Anonymous Rick98c said...

I had a patient a few years back who was forced out of his church because he didn't support the war. Among my colleagues, support for the PWOT is directly proportional to their level of involvement and self-identification with their churches.

You'd think these people worshipped Odin.

Monday, June 30, 2008 at 10:24:00 AM GMT-5  
Blogger Lisa said...

rick98,

They do, in another incarnation. But they'd be loathe to admit it.

Monday, June 30, 2008 at 10:34:00 AM GMT-5  
Blogger rangeragainstwar said...

rick 98c. there's a fallacy in your cmt. for these pukes to worship Odin they'd actually have to fight and bear arms. The supporters of the pwot generally fail in this light. jim

Monday, June 30, 2008 at 10:39:00 AM GMT-5  
Blogger The Minstrel Boy said...

check out the newest post at "clusterfuck nation." he's predicting, and has been predicting for a while, an imminent banking meltdown.

the telegraph in the UK ran an article about european lack of confidence in the federal reserve system.

we might be in for a ride that will make 1929 look tame. folks forget that the biggest factor in the 1929 collapse was bad debt from ww1. we've been fighting two wars for seven years on credit. bills are fucking due folks.

the "stimulus" not only didn't have any effect on the economic issues, it had a reverse effect by increasing inflation. they didn't get that money anywhere but a printing press. chinese inflation is through the roof too because they've been printing secured yuan to buy our unsecured t-bills.

there's a mean kind of justice coming down.

good thing i grew up dirt fucking poor. i still know how to do that shit.

Monday, June 30, 2008 at 11:31:00 AM GMT-5  
Blogger The Minstrel Boy said...

correction:

that's "UNsecured" yuan in the comment above.

Monday, June 30, 2008 at 11:32:00 AM GMT-5  
Blogger Arkhamite said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Monday, June 30, 2008 at 12:28:00 PM GMT-5  

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