Bloated

Oft did the harvest to their sickle yield,
Their furrow oft the stubborn glebe has broke;
How jocund did they drive their team afield!
How bowed the woods beneath their sturdy stroke!
--Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard,
Thomas Gray

I carn't not believe this incredible fact of truth
about my very body which has not gained fat since
mother begat me at childburn.
Yea, though I wart through the valet of thy shadowy hut
I will feed no norman. What grate qualmsy hath taken me
thus into such a fatty hardbuckle
--"No Flies on Frank" (from In His Own Write,)
John Lennon
_______________

Well, we don't know how many of their furrows were broke by stubborn glebes, nor how jocularly they drive their teams, but as the Baptist church house doors opened after services today expulsing their flock one commonality was clear: every last one of them was fat. And so what, you say?

Ever making connections, Ranger thought about the implications of the avoirdupois/theological nexus, understanding that our neck o' the woods is a somewhat parochial area, its citizens generally not given to the level of fitness one might see in parishioners exiting, say, Grace Cathedral in San Francisco.

From the pulpit streams a reliable schtick to support the troops, if the troops are mentioned at all. What this means in the New America is "consume," with the blessings of President Bush. Get thee tax rebate checks to a WalMart SuperCenter near you. God has blessed us so let us eat 'til we bust, spend 'til we are broke buying what we do not need, and fight wars to protect it all. If you should get sick in your existence minus healthcare, "you can just go to an emergency room," as the munificent President Bush said.

This brought to mind the economic bifurcation between the fatties and skinnies. To be fat today one must [a] have enough money to buy quantities of savory food, or [b] be poor and so purchase foods that provide maximum calories to extend your minimum amount of dollars, which usually translates to fats and cheap carbohydrates.

To be skinny one must [a] Have enough money to own a gym membership and shop at Whole Foods, or [b] be poor and hungry. Many do not understand how a person can be on food stamps and be heavy, but that is often the result of poor, cheap food choices.

Let's all get fat and go to church, or is it, go to church and get fat? If you have money, you can pick up some CLA and and buy the latest Denise Richards tape with your groceries. God will save us and in any event, heaven is right around the corner where they are waiting for you to change into your new, "glorified" body.

--Lisa and Jim