Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Run, Levi, Run

--Peray, Thailand

She's some kind of demon messing in the glue.

If you don't watch out it'll stick to you.

What kind of fool are you?

Strange brew -- kill what's inside of you

--Strange Brew
, Eric Clapton

What a friend we have in Jesus,

all our sins and griefs to bear!

What a privilege to carry

everything to God in prayer!

--What a friend We Have in Jesus
Joseph Scriven


What is mulled cider good for if not engaging in a bit of old fashioned schadenfreude ?

Mr. Scriven's lyrics perfectly embody the view of Jesus-as-trash compacter or paper-shredder, take your pick. Given that, Dostoevsky''s dictum (If God is dead, all things are possible) doesn't seem so revolutionary. All things are possible anyway, you've just got to dump your guilt or sense of responsibility in the right bin to avert social anarchy. That's why it is good to be a Christian if you are going to do questionable things.

To be clear: this is a politically non-partisan piece, as the Left surely has their share of nimrods and scumbags. Nothing is sacrosanct at Ranger.

It has been recently revealed
that Sherry Johnston -- mother of high-sticking young Levi Johnston, said-impregnator of former Republican VP candidate Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol -- may be a dope trafficker. Mum now faces six felony drug charges (Bristol Palin's Future Mother-in-Law Arrested on Drug Charges.)

Ranger recalls two mantras inculcated in his days at Catholic school: "Birds of a feather flock together," and, "Tell me who you go with, and I'll tell you who you are." Though Ms. Johnston hasn't been tried yet, if she is a dope dealer it is safe to assume her significant other is, as well. And what about little Levi and his Main Squeeze? Are we to believe they are drug-free?

The amazing part of this story is, Ms. Johnson's substance problems will only enrich Mrs. Palin's cachet. Entire sections of Detroit and Eastside Cleveland now have a sister, once-removed, in the Great White North. Spin is everything, and so degraded and gullible are we as a people that sympathy will be wrung from Ms. Johnston's bust. Somebody will get Jesus, and someone will be pardoned.

Bristol Palin's daughter was conceived in sin and will be brought into the world that way.
Though the word during the campaign was that 18 year old Levi would Do The Right Thing and Make an Honest Woman out of Bristol, alas, that happy event has yet to transpire, no longer speeded along by the grease of a political campaign. "Poignantly," As the UK Telegraph reported, Levi, on his MySpace page says, "I don't want kids."

Y'see, this is the reason for sex ed. Had Levi known the probable result of his intromission and ejaculation, he might have refrained. Then again, Bristol might have told a fib about taking birth control, too. We may never know the whole sordid story, but it is a morality tale about responsibility. Without education and active prevention efforts, for too many young girls the litany is Coca Cola douche, followed by prayers that they not be knocked up to finally, resignation and labeling it a miracle.

We suppose the Alaskan doper and the fornicators are happily celebrating this day of our Savior's coming.

White Christmas
takes on a whole new meaning north of the 49th parallel.

--by LISA

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Anonymous tw said...

Some Levi humor from Bill Maher


Run, Levi, Run

Thursday, December 25, 2008 at 12:11:00 AM GMT-5  
Blogger rangeragainstwar said...

Merry Christmas,

Thursday, December 25, 2008 at 7:51:00 AM GMT-5  
Blogger Serving Patriot said...


TW beat me to the punch - but let me add my chorus:

"Free Levi!!!"

As for the blessed child of the Levi-Bristol union, inquiring minds want to know - "where is the Baby Johnson (Palin)"?? Heck, she was due any day now and the childs appearance was to put a stake to the "lie" that child #5 was not really a "momma's boy."

I for one wait with eager abandon for the blessed girl's appearance - if only to know that at least one gossip surrounding this sad family really was a lie.


Thursday, December 25, 2008 at 10:12:00 AM GMT-5  
Anonymous Axel in Montreal said...

"White Christmas takes on a whole new meaning north of the 49th parallel." To that, Canadian readers have to say, "Huh?"

Monday, December 29, 2008 at 12:57:00 PM GMT-5  
Blogger Lisa said...

Hi Axel,

Glad you're still out there! As to your comment, you Canadians are such upstanding people. We did not mean to implicate you all, and apologies as the "49th parallel" comment does.

It's the Alaskans that are not so innocent.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008 at 10:58:00 AM GMT-5  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great post. But, the Dostoevsky quote is, "without God, all things are PERMISSABLE".

Saturday, October 30, 2010 at 1:00:00 AM GMT-5  
Blogger Lisa said...


Thank you, and that difference is significant! I sometimes move too fast, and rely on memory, that great deceiver.

I'm glad to have such a savvy fact-checker on my tail :)

Saturday, October 30, 2010 at 11:49:00 AM GMT-5  

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