Something Doesn't Belong Here

--Gargantua, Gustave Doré

There are no seasons in the American supermarket.
Now there are tomatoes all year round,
grown halfway around the world,
picked when it was green, and ripened with ethylene gas.
Although it looks like a tomato,
it's kind of a notional tomato. I mean,
it's the idea of a tomato
--Food, Inc., Michael Pollan

Leadership appears to be the art
of getting others to want to do something
you are convinced should be done
--Vance Packard

In 1972, the FDA conducted approximately
50,000 food safety inspections.
In 2006, the FDA conducted 9,164
--Food, Inc., (2008)
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This is a slumgullion post about things that just aren't right. Just a few arbitrary choices to begin with; the follow-on will deal with lodgings that aren't right in the U.S.A. Today we will begin with adverts, and end with food.

Buick Regal now touts its Teutonic pedigree, saying it is German engineered for performance on the Autobahn. If one wanted German engineering, why not buy a Mercedes, BMW or Porsche? Why a Buick? Unless one is a Saudi Prince with a motorcade of MB's, for whom a K-Car might be a cool diversion, how would owning a Buick would proclaim to your friends that you have gained a fine European-tuned vehicle?

This ad probably caught our eye because of a strange dining experience recently at a German restaurant in North Carolina which had a continual loop of vertiginous camera angles of roads in Germany, roads and roads -- not especially interesting roads -- punctuated by the very occasional mountain or flower interspersed to give the mind a break from the spiraling ribbons of highway. One could imagine Dieter from Sprockets animatedly narrating the thing.

Next is the advert for Kohl's department stores showing rich, well-appointed models in a tony environment. The problem is Kohl's is not selling tony products -- it is a soundly middle-class venue. The store has latched on to some name designers, but the products are decidedly at the low end of the quality spectrum. The ad is not consonant with the product.

Most advertisers pitching to the average housewife understand that using homey models makes the product more appealing and accessible, so how does the average consumer relate to these models living the elite lifestyle, yet hawking J. C. Penny-level appointments?

And now to the food. We have spoken before of the spiraling costs of food (though our government assures us there is no inflation and no needed cost of living adjustment) -- today, we will address the quality.

The recent outbreak of salmonella from infected eggs produced in facilities with outrageous sanitary and humanity offenses brings this issue to the fore. Untold numbers of citizens were made sick or died from these infected eggs from Wright County Farms, Hillandale, Dutch et. al. The producers had been cited numerous times for offenses over the years. The mass infection could not have come as a surprise to anyone.

It is the same conduct as Massey Energy showed before the collapse of the Upper Big Branch Mine in West Virginia this April. Hundreds of safety violations, mostly ignored until someone puts an eye out, or 29 miners die. Then everyone rushes in for the inquisition and the autopsy. But the losses from lax oversight and cutting corners are predictable, and probably figured into the operational budget.

When Lisa was shopping at Sam's Club recently for her usual veggie-and-fruit tour, she noticed some anomalies in the usually predictable stock.

Strawberries had grown large as bocci balls, a fruit which should be more petite. They are flavorless at that size, ditto the Campari tomatoes, which are supposed to be a premium, smallish on-the-vine variety. They, too, had grown oversized. Same with the blackberries, though the raspberries maintained their normal size (and had "organic" on their label.) Lemons were as large as oranges, and mushrooms had begun sprouting two caps.

While one often feels like being among the Gargantua in that facility normally, now it seems even the food had sprouted to epic proportions. Lest you think I was on a mescaline trip, I assure you not. These looked like Frankenfoods, and it is not surprising considering 70% of our foods have some genetically-modified ingredient. We are now eating GMO salmon -- engineered to eat year-round, hence doubling their size (and behaving like many Americans.)

Profit drives the market, our health be damned. AquAdvantage GMO salmon -- grown to be mini-Hindenbergs -- is likely already on a plate near you. Like the chicken breasts that are now approaching the size of small hens, they will probably be tasteless and chewy flesh which we will go largely unnoticed since we are fond of drowning our foods in salt and sauces.

Also noted was the inferior quality of much of the produce -- most of the pineapples and melons were shriveling or bruised. These should have been counted as loses, and not for public sale.

The same problems are noted among the regular retailers, Like Publix and Winn Dixie. Publix has usually maintained in-date stock, but as a matter of habit now, dairy products are kept on the shelves past due date. At least at Winn Dixie, they will reduce the price of items nearing expiration, thereby acknowledging the fact. At Publix the ruse is stealthier. Most people haven't the time to check labels, and if the milk isn't curdled, they will probably drink it.

Have you noticed any come-down in your food supply lately?