RANGER AGAINST WAR: Cowboys and Aliens <

Saturday, August 06, 2011

Cowboys and Aliens

--Bigger is Badder

What the hell?

Cowboys and Aliens (2011)

And anger of the Lord will blaze against you,

and he will close the heavens and there will not be rain,

and the earth will not give you its fullness

--fr. Shema
, Jewish Prayer

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child

Long way from my home

Sometimes I wish I could fly

Like a bird up in the sky

--Motherless Child
, Van Morrison

This is a moment in a day in the life this week of Ranger, out on the range in the hinterlands of Northwest Florida, Solar System. It is hard to tell if he is the Cowboy or the Alien. He is inclined towards "alien" as he was the only one not "strapped" in this little episode.

The scene:
A local mechanic's shop, right wing radio blaring its inanity, National Rifle Association mag on the table. The men talked of guns, one vociferously bad-mouthing a gun control advocate called "Shuma". This caused Ranger some consternation as 2nd Amendment issues are near and dear to him, and he had not heard of this Shuma. The wildly vilified Black Bart turned out to be Rep. Charles Schumer (D-NY).

At the point of recognition, Ranger said, "Let's be real here [first wrong assumption] -- the first assault weapons ban occurred by Executive Order from the pen of George H.W. Walker." Came the invective: "I don't talk to liberals!", he said disgustedly, after he pulled his shirt aside to display the 9 mm pistol stashed in his belt line.

Now Ranger has always been against gun control, and this exchange should have made his little Red, White and Blue heart flutter, except . . . it did not. It's 2011 and we will not even talk to one another, and some of us are so threatened here in The Homeland ™ that they spend their days with pistols in their belts. Where do we meet?

This is not the sign of a healthy society.

Last week we sighted a police officer in a black outfit and a shirt imprinted, "Drug Task Force". He was carrying a high-cap Glock in a gunfighter, low-slung holster with enough gear to fight Tet '68. What's that all about?

Have we gone insane?
Ranger likes guns and oppose gun control, but does not carry because it is not wise. When you carry, you are less likely to leave a confrontation -- the weapon heightens the chance of a dangerous or lethal interaction.

Was the gunslinger flashing his hide-out gun threatening me? Could I kill him before he pulls his weapon? Was it a thumbing of the nose? A show of solidarity with the shop's owner (who also sports a gun in his belt), or something else?

Ranger's advice: Don't let someone within striking distance even if you've got a handgun rubbing your dick, 'cause that could be the last thing it ever touches.

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Anonymous barcalounger said...

"Don't let someone within striking distance even if you've got a handgun rubbing your dick, 'cause that could be the last thing it ever touches."

That's why they make long guns. I'm not saying that to be macho. But if you're "fighting fair" in a gunfight you're going to end up on a slab down at the county morgue.

Saturday, August 6, 2011 at 4:01:00 PM GMT-5  
Blogger Bukko Canukko said...

"I don't talk to liberals!" but he will show them his pseudo-penis, eh? What a coward. He can threaten, but he can't talk...

Thanks for giving me a reinforcement about one of the reasons why I left the U.S., Ranger. When the collapse comes, Americans are going to be shooting the crap out of each other. Instead of shooting UP at the Corporate Lizard Overlords, Americans will shoot laterally, at people on their own level.

It's freakin' doomed, man. Since I split, I've lived in Australia and Canada. Nice to be in places where they're not all mad. In both senses of that word.

Saturday, August 6, 2011 at 6:33:00 PM GMT-5  
Blogger Ghost Dansing said...

lord of war

Saturday, August 6, 2011 at 7:29:00 PM GMT-5  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know what to tell you, Ranger. That kind of people carry weapons to CHURCH - if that tells you anything at all about their circle of acquaintances, fear, and paranoia. I've no idea what book they use during their services as I've always avoided people I suspected of being criminally insane so I don't attend their churches. However,I don't think it's the King James Version of the New Testament. In fact, I'm sure it's not as I have more than a passing familiarity with that book.

The most vigilant folk I encounter have rarely if ever been in a different country and none of them ever felt up to visiting the recruiting office. Well, I take that back. A few of them did go but they had to get out way before basic was over because of allergies or some such. Sometimes when push came to shove, they had to get out because they pissed the bed.

You know all this better than I do. You also know that hard stuff is, well, HARD and it's better to fantasize about toughness and endurance than to bother with all the HARD stuff actually involved in soldiering.

Were we always like this?

Jay in N.C.

Saturday, August 6, 2011 at 10:16:00 PM GMT-5  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ranger, When they start spouting that Liberal this and that-I tell them to look up the word in the dictionary. I hate 3rd grade name calling and name tags and they try to change meanings of words and re-write history.
I was going to invite my Commander of my D.A.V. post to speak at our VFW post on POW-MIA Day(sept 16)as he said he was an EX-POW in Cambodia in 1965. Found out he wasn't when I contacted the EX-POW-MIA folks. When I asked about this they turned it around and I got a phone call last week at 10:30pm threatening me basically that they were going to bring charges(don't know what)against me for confronting him and telling the truth. Truly 1984. This is a mind set of these sheeple-'Their minds are like concrete' all mixed-up and permantly set.
Keep telling the facts and truth Ranger-some of us are listening and trying to do the same. Doc

Saturday, August 6, 2011 at 10:30:00 PM GMT-5  
Anonymous CholoAzul said...

A logical extension of playing with macho toys, is to want to gain membership in perceived macho clubhouses.

A while back, a group of Navy SEALS spent quite a bit of time unmasking phony SF, MOH etc. and invariably instead of slinking away, the phonies would bluster and threaten *and so would the groups that invested in their lies*.

This pathology runs deep.

Sunday, August 7, 2011 at 12:03:00 PM GMT-5  
Blogger rangeragainstwar said...

The best way to survive a gun fight is to not get into it.
I call this attack recognition which often leads to an escape plan/route.

Sunday, August 7, 2011 at 5:11:00 PM GMT-5  
Blogger rangeragainstwar said...


I've always noticed an inverse proportion of the pistol to what the guy would really like to have in his trousers; that's why I carry a snubnose.

Before you ask how I know, their ex-wives tell me.

Sunday, August 7, 2011 at 7:36:00 PM GMT-5  
Blogger rangeragainstwar said...


POW's that came stateside were rare. (85% of the Army's POW's came from the unit SOG. I knew most of them.)

Jon Caviani is the only one still alive that I know of. Col. Thompson may still be alive.

Sunday, August 7, 2011 at 7:38:00 PM GMT-5  
Blogger rangeragainstwar said...

i must correct my statement- i knew most of the SF former pow's THAT MADE IT HOME.
If your interested the POW museum at ANDERSONVILLE is worth the trip.
About a week before they opened it Dan Pitzer died, and he was slated to speak at the event.Now that's a bummer.

Sunday, August 7, 2011 at 7:58:00 PM GMT-5  
Blogger basilbeast said...

About that "surviving a gunfight" thing, Ranger.


There's a Wichita city councilman who demands that his right to take his concealed weapon anywhere he wants to.


Arizona and Tennessee allow guns in bars, Heaven help them.


What ever happened to that "well-regulated" 2nd Amendment thing?

BTW, did see C&A, fun movie.

Would love to have that bracelet thing, no dick-rubbing there.


Monday, August 8, 2011 at 12:49:00 PM GMT-5  
Anonymous Squatlo said...

Here in Tennessee the NRAbies were so worried about losing their pistols to Obama that they passed laws allowing loaded guns in the bars and restaurants, even local parks. Now a shop owner has to ASK people not to carry firearms into his place of business.

Whenever I'm faced with someone who feels the need to substitute a pistol or oversized gas-guzzling pickup truck or SUV for his shriveled little libido, I try to remember that they were probably laughed at a lot as a teenager, or denied breast milk, or something traumatic. Helps to personalize cretins instead of resenting them.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011 at 12:07:00 PM GMT-5  
Blogger FDChief said...

There's a certain type of person who is completely unreachable. My father-in-law's brother is like that. We had a conversation about taxes once, and when I told him that his idol Ronnie Reagan had raised taxes - raised them several times, in fact - he flat out denied it. Didn't happen. I told him when and why Reagan had done that. Didn't happen, he replied.

Because, see, Reagan was CONSERVATIVE. Only liberals raise taxes...or control guns.

And thus we become the sun-worshiping boobs we were before the scientific revolution. Something IS because we believe it is. No evidence or stupid facts can touch our holy beliefs.

Forget it, Jake; it's Chinatown.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011 at 8:43:00 AM GMT-5  
Blogger Lisa said...


That is PRECISELY the reason I cannot abide by situational ethics: It either IS, or IS NOT! I do abhor wafflers.

As you say, Ray-gun was conservative, dontcha know -- so to his minions, raising taxes could not be there.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011 at 8:59:00 AM GMT-5  
Blogger Lisa said...


Very compassionate of you, personalizing cretins, as it were. I myself am tolerance-challenged: a cretin, is a cretin, is a ...

Wednesday, August 10, 2011 at 9:43:00 AM GMT-5  
Anonymous tw said...

Here on the 49th the Canadian Customs officers never used to carry weapons. They had a problem, they just let the fellow go and had the RCMP pick him up. They had a push from the macho types to be armed so now they all carry 9mm and wear body armor. As a result they roast in the hot summer sun and cannot hire summer students(because of the guns) to deal with all the summer tourists and end up doing all the mundane jobs they'd usually dole out to the students.
Seems like poetic justice !

Wednesday, August 10, 2011 at 2:52:00 PM GMT-5  

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