These Colors Don't Run
Camping on the prairie
Plays havoc with my hair.
Makes me feel quite dirty,
Though we all do sometimes
--I Wanna Be A Cowboy,
Boys Don't Cry
But someday I'm sure your gonna know the cost
Cause for everything you win
there's something lost
--Everything That Glitters (Is Not Gold),
Dan Seals
Like a rhinestone cowboy
Riding out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo
Gettin' cards and letters from people I don't even know
And offers comin' over the phone
--Rhinestone Cowboy, Glen Campbell
Why don't you make arrangements
to take our hovercraft to Medieval World,
Roman World and Westworld.
Contact us today, or see your travel agent.
Boy, have we got a vacation for you.
--Westworld (1973)
__________________
Plays havoc with my hair.
Makes me feel quite dirty,
Though we all do sometimes
--I Wanna Be A Cowboy,
Boys Don't Cry
But someday I'm sure your gonna know the cost
Cause for everything you win
there's something lost
--Everything That Glitters (Is Not Gold),
Dan Seals
Like a rhinestone cowboy
Riding out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo
Gettin' cards and letters from people I don't even know
And offers comin' over the phone
--Rhinestone Cowboy, Glen Campbell
Why don't you make arrangements
to take our hovercraft to Medieval World,
Roman World and Westworld.
Contact us today, or see your travel agent.
Boy, have we got a vacation for you.
--Westworld (1973)
__________________
The title is a favorite line of the patriotic sort of American supporting the U.S.'s endless wars. Maybe not, but they sure do bleed out.
This is dedicated to the National Rifle Association, and specifically its little brother affiliate, the Single Action Shooting Society (SASS) -- a group that is oh-so-Amurican, claiming as it does to represent our national cowboy character and values. Ranger once belonged to SASS but resigned his membership over multiple ideological conflicts.
SASS conducts weekend fantasy matches which take their cue from Western fictional films like True Grit and Outlaw Josey Wales. They begin with a invocation to Jesus, much like might be heard at the start of a Jay-Vee football game in Louisiana. The prayer thanks God for our soldiers fighting to protect our rights (with no mention of the Supreme Court's regular impingement upon said rights. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.)
After they done prayed it is time to suit up for the match, which requires two Single Action handguns, a lever-action pistol cartridge rifle/carbine and a double barrel shotgun or pre-1898 pump action or lever-action shotgun with exposed hammer. Oh, and a colorful and starched neckerchief, like those worn by fancy show dogs.
Per the Handguns: The really cool guys shoot COLTS pistols, but unfortunately they are now made in Italy (only assembled in the USA.) Most folks shoot Rugers that are made and marketed in the U.S., but the steel is sourced internationally -- hey, it's close enough for country. The rest shoot Ubertis -- Italian or Brazilian replicas.
Per the Rifles: Only the Marlin 1894 is made in America; all others are made in Japan, Brazil, Argentina, Italy or some other furrin' place. The rifles marketed as Winchesters are made in Japan, also. The Italian rifles dominate the field. welcome to the New Wild West, thank you Aldo Uberti (spaghetti Westerns weren't just whistlin' Dixie.)
Per the Shotguns: Usually low-quality doubles and replicas of the 1897 and 1887 Winchesters, usually made in China or some other foreign nation. Welcome to the O.K. Corral!
Let's talk Ammo: You have your choice of Fioricci, Aguila, PMC, etc. -- Italian, Mexican, Philipino or Korean. There is U.S.-made Remington or Winchester ammo but domestic is usually much more expensive, so foreign production is usually used. Did you say, Get Outta Dodge?
Accouterments: The guns are carried in holsters made in Mexico or some other diarrhea-ridden locale. (Some folks use costly U.S.-made rigs, but they are the minority.) The replica clothes are usually foreign-made, sweatshop specials, from Honduras, Bangladesh, Guatemala, etc. The underwear is seldom made anywhere NEAR the OLDE West, and the fibers are less-than-natural.
Shooting glasses and ear protection are usually Chinese-made. This is so we don't have to see that 40% of our money is borrowed from Communist China, a country that has killed a few good American soldiers in its time, whether directly (in Korea) or indirectly via arms, munitions and training for the VietCong/NVA. Also remember that that the entire Chinese defense budget is paid for by the interest on the U.S. Treasury notes held by the Chinese government. Oh yeah -- and not a few tchotchkes purchased by the True Blue SASS crowd. God Bless America!
The timers are from Germany or Japan, where things run on time. The targets are made from foreign steel and the target plates spray-painted with Chinese paint, courtesy Walmart at .97/can. The cowboy hats are cheap woolen knock-offs, as a Resistol or Stetson 10x beaver is rather pricey these days; the upside is, it keeps all the mad hatters South of the Border.
The range flags are made in China and I'll bet even money that the group's mouthpiece --The Cowboy Chronicle -- is printed on imported paper. I'll even bet the official SASS badges are also made somewhere other than the old West.
After the match the participants have an ersatz cotillion, with dinner eaten on plates from China and music played through foreign sound systems, where many women endeavor to strike a pose as Miss Kitty-cum-Beyonce. The bands are using foreign-made acoustic instruments with Chinese pick ups and strings made in Mexico.
While the hardcore faux cowboys are toying with fancy guns, firing live ammunition and spending money at the concessionaires, it is hard to picture the actual nastiness that our soldiers are actually perpetrating on a daily basis.
Praise the Lord and pass the foreign ammunition.
--by Jim and Lisa
Labels: chinese crap, SASS, single action shooting society
posted by rangeragainstwar at 7:23 AM
22 Comments:
"While the hardcore faux cowboys are toying with fancy guns, firing live ammunition and spending money at the concessionaires, it is hard to picture the actual nastiness that our soldiers are actually perpetrating on a daily basis."
I almost always find myself in agreement with you but on this one my take is different. My thinking is "...the actual nastiness our soldiers are actually SUFFERING on a daily basis." I do think that people who enjoy the trappings of soldiery and war and their personal fantasies of heroism should drop by their local recruiter and see what they can do about getting themselves and their sons into the uniform. I hear that the Army and Marine Corps would welcome a few extra hands.
I understand that you are talking about cowboy and frontier fantasies and your point is nothing is made in this country, but still...
BTW, whatever happened to all those experts who were on TV for several years explaining how we would all be richer if the manufacturing jobs were off-shored? Wasn't it something about transitioning into a technological, information, and financial society? And we would all get rich? Where are those guys?
Jay in N.C.
Jay,
Since these wars are elective I PREFER to focus on what we wrought on other people.
We're in their faces, not the opposite.
jim
Hi Jim,
Your post has more bite than usual. Even though I enjoyed it immensely, it's probably time to take your meds.
I have trouble picturing you as a single-action kind of guy. I picture you as a full-auto, group therapy sort.
Dave
Jim..Another of your gems. My imagination's end result is a buck toothed, baccy spittin' work of art.
As always, great read Ranger.
Thinking about it, the computer I am typing this on is probably made in China, the cable transmitting the internet signal across the pond manufactured in China, more and more cats and dogs go missing in my neighborhood and chances are some Chinese government media monitor, in preparation for the day when China gets Florida as part of a Sino/US debt settlement, is filing this very minute a report about the subversive nature of your blog. Have your single action guns and rifles ready and expect visitors shortly after that day arrives.
UC,
I've been thinkin' on this entry for years- literally.
I am a single shot kinda guy, regardless of action type. In SASS the winners/champions are wild , fast shooters who can't shoot a group if their asses depended on it. Which wouldn't happen since most of those heroes avoided any type of organized violence. They are all Miniver Cheevies.
BTW, My collection is largely Single actions.
I'm trying to regulate my meds.
jim
Carl,
The ass holes at SASS love to smoke cigars and cigarettes on the firing line which in my training and experience has always been verboten.
jim
Juan,
I'm glad your still with the unit.
Why would the Chinese want Fla?
jim
Jim, how could there be anything wrong with smoking or drinking during gun play when we have Hollywood to say otherwise?
Speaking of which, I had my international cadre watch the Jeff Bridges version of True Grit last week, followed by a couple of clips from Lone Wolf McQuade to compare Texas Ranger style over the years.
As a bonus question I asked
'Who is more dangerous, Chuck Norris, or Rooster Cogburn?'
My Saudi students thought Rooster, since he was a drunk and sometimes shot the wrong people.
My Chinese and Japanese students got the right answer.
Cholo,
Since CN always struck me as a bit light in the loafers, i'd pick RC as more dangerous.
He seemed to have little regard for life.
jim
To:
jim@rangeragainstwar.com
Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "These Colors Don't Run":
Very thought provoking and entertaining post, Jim. The made elsewhere phenom. certainly is most pervasive. In fact, I recently almost had an affair with a mistress that is made in China.....but the good old red, white and blue angel on my right shoulder brought me back to my senses....that and Mrs. A's odd choice of timing to discuss gelding a colt that, "...is out of control".
Smoking on the firing line....quarter deck the bunch of 'em. Then again, could be interesting to let them go ahead if any are loading black powder cap and ball.
avedis
Avedis,
This didn't make it to blogger- ssdd.
Yes we shot BP frontier and i used to shoot frontier cartridge BP.
When you say Chinese Mistress don't you really mean Dominatrix since that's what they're doing to us.
So why not apply more of the same to your cap and balls??!
jim
you're killing me here, Jim. I too am always locked and loaded. Have to remind myself of the ROE from time to time; no free fire zones.
I think blogger objects to my paranoid guy identity confusing software. Guess it isn't needed 'round these parts anyways.
Blackpowder/cap/ball; never shot any of those. Always thought it might be fun. Is it? Fun > hassles?
avedis
BTW....I learned that Mrs A reads RAW at least occassionally. This came to my attention when she mentioned that, "your Ranger buddy has an interesting sense of humor". I thought she was referring to someone I run with locally (one "Scarey" Larry Luebner), but then she made a comment about the "pig dick bottle opener", which totally left me confused. She clarified. It was the picture attached to the "rodeo clown" post. ....
avedis
What gets me, jim, is the way the present-day Western wannabes are usually this sort of "God, guns, n' guts" buttondown conservative when the folks you'd have found in the West back in the day they're trying to re-create were a pretty wild bunch of marginal types, ex-rebs, losers, drifters, grifters, con men, loose women, or guys who'd been damaged all to hell in the Civil War and were just too crazy to fit in in a "civilized" place - the 19th Century equivalent of the sort of people your consumer-fantasy cowhands cross the street to avoid when they run into them in real life.
FDC,
Excellent point about the marginal nature of the true wild bunch.
Oh, you should see these wannabes -- decked out the the nines, they are. Moreso than loaded and locked, they are starched and pressed.
(and apropos of naught, my wd. verification is "mismolls", which sums up nicely my position of writing shotgun here ...)
Chief,
Your cmt is valid and often over looked.
If you look at Hickok , he was a Yankee and all the "COWBOYS" were usually southerners.
Often these gunfights were a continuation of the CW by other means.
I believe this cmt also applies to the Earps.
jim
avedis,
The pic on Rodeo Clown is a pic of me as a child.
jim
@Jim
The reason Chuck is far more dangerous, is that in the photo from our textbook, under the heading of 'Propaganda', Mr. Norris is shown asking real people to vote for George Bush.
I like your introduction of your article specially this one:
Camping on the prairie
Plays havoc with my hair.
Makes me feel quite dirty,
Though we all do sometimes
--I Wanna Be A Cowboy,
Boys Don't Cry
It's quite wonderful. :D
Jonathan,
i reckon i'm just a cowboy.
yippi ai yay.
jim
Thank you, Jonathan. I'm glad you appreciate the fine art of gentle sarcasm.
I try for absurdity, to leaven the tragedy (which is also absurd.) S'pose it's the gambler's game: I'll see your absurd hand, and raise you one.
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