Friday, April 06, 2012

Zombie Zoo

--Fr. Brownell's spring catalog

You can make a big impression or
Go through life unseen

You might wind up restricted and over seventeen

It's so hard to be careful, so easy to be led

Somewhere beyond the pavement

You'll find the living dead

--Zombie Zoo
, Tom Petty

License to kill gophers by the government

of the United Nations.

Man, free to kill gophers at will.

To kill, you must know your enemy,

and in this case my enemy is a varmint.

And a varmint will never quit - ever.

They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong.

So you have to fall back on superior intelligence

and superior firepower.

And that's all she wrote.


8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!

9. No place is safe, only safer.

10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on

--The Zombie Survival Guide,

Max Brooks


Note the latest haute couture in the gun world: vanity magazine release buttons sporting death's heads, "infidel" and the biohazard symbol, showing the world what a bad MoFo you are. Then you have the commercial ammunition for zombies or varmints, depending upon one's needs at any given moment (perhaps the two are interchangeable, at times); terrorism is located somewhere in between these two.

And then, the targets. Seen this Wednesday at a gun shop in Jacksonville, Florida, witness the generic "Terrorist" target, looking suspiciously like Osama bin Laden, on sale for $79.00. In addition, large pallets of various ammunition were featured in the center of the store.

This seems to put the lie to the National Rifle Association's fear of the Obama administration's yanking of bullets for your guns. Not to worry, they -- the guns -- can still go "boom".

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Anonymous Anonymous said...




Saturday, April 7, 2012 at 11:09:00 PM GMT-5  
Blogger rangeragainstwar said...

Bad news- a 03 springfield is not a zombie killer.
You must double tap them.

Sunday, April 8, 2012 at 11:18:00 AM GMT-5  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL. I got some zombie OO 12g buck as a stocking stuffer last Xmas.

As for targets, I still use good old paper pie plates. I can see 'em and hit 'em at 300 yards with a rifle.

I built a tree stand for zombie hunting. Use live humans as bate. Kinda like salt licking deer. I don't see where the zombie ammo works any better than regular buckshot. Still need to make a head shot. After Hazen gets knocked off his tricycle I imagine I'll drag his sorry ass out to the stand, chain him to the the tree and see if there are any zombies left in my neck of the woods.


Sunday, April 8, 2012 at 12:03:00 PM GMT-5  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

P.s. I'll let the zombie have a good bite or two before I light it up.


Sunday, April 8, 2012 at 12:04:00 PM GMT-5  
Blogger Lisa said...

Now, avedis ... this is hardly chivalric. I am imagining Mr. Hazen was using a too-flip imagery with his tricycle.

Honor demands we keep this to the highest levels.

Sunday, April 8, 2012 at 12:07:00 PM GMT-5  
Blogger Terrible said...

Still remember my first impression on seeing the zombie ammo - something along the lines of wtf.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012 at 2:50:00 PM GMT-5  

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