Zombie Zoo

--Fr. Brownell's spring catalog

You can make a big impression or
Go through life unseen
You might wind up restricted and over seventeen
It's so hard to be careful, so easy to be led
Somewhere beyond the pavement
You'll find the living dead
--Zombie Zoo, Tom Petty

License to kill gophers by the government
of the United Nations.
Man, free to kill gophers at will.
To kill, you must know your enemy,
and in this case my enemy is a varmint.
And a varmint will never quit - ever.
They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong.
So you have to fall back on superior intelligence
and superior firepower.
And that's all she wrote.
--Caddyshack (1980)

8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!
9. No place is safe, only safer.
10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on
--The Zombie Survival Guide,
Max Brooks
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Note the latest haute couture in the gun world: vanity magazine release buttons sporting death's heads, "infidel" and the biohazard symbol, showing the world what a bad MoFo you are. Then you have the commercial ammunition for zombies or varmints, depending upon one's needs at any given moment (perhaps the two are interchangeable, at times); terrorism is located somewhere in between these two.

And then, the targets. Seen this Wednesday at a gun shop in Jacksonville, Florida, witness the generic "Terrorist" target, looking suspiciously like Osama bin Laden, on sale for $79.00. In addition, large pallets of various ammunition were featured in the center of the store.

This seems to put the lie to the National Rifle Association's fear of the Obama administration's yanking of bullets for your guns. Not to worry, they -- the guns -- can still go "boom".