RANGER AGAINST WAR: The Way Things Oughta Be <

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The Way Things Oughta Be

Those black-eyed peas
They tasted all right to me Earl

And it turns out he was a missing person

Who nobody missed at all

--Goodbye Earl
, Dixie Chicks

No, I ain't got time to waste on killin'

some old Ranger with holes in his underwear.

There's plenty more need killin'

I hate rude behavior in a man...I won't tolerate it

--Lonesome Dove


[1] Craig Bodington must die! Craig is the Great White Hunter - gunman extraordinaire and wholesale killer of every manner of large mammal on the planet for the pure pleasure and sport of killing.

He can be seen decked out in his Thinsulate goodies and tree bark of the latest pattern on the Hunting Channel taking glee in his murders, always yanking the head of the dead or dying noble beast back by its antlers, a la porno submission shots.

If Craig Bodington meets his demise it would save untold hundreds of big game animals from dyng needlessly violent deaths. It should occur via the rules laid out in "The Most Dangerous Game," he stripped of his sophisticated blinds and warm clothing and high-powered rifles and laser scopes.

For good measure, some doe urine should be sprayed on his person, and an 18-pointer allowed to go into his grid square as the coup de grace.

If justice prevailed, Craig wold be bled out in the same manner met by his victims, the poor, dumb animals on the canned safaris. And someone would pull his head back, mouth agog and tongue hanging, for the money shot.

[2] Stewart Parnell, president of Peanut Corporation of America, his plant manager, board of directors and their families should have to subsist on their own peanut products for a week of digestive Russian Roulette. They are responsible for nine deaths and over 500 illnesses resulting from salmonella-tainted products the factory knowingly released (Peanut Company Owner Refuses to Testify to Congress.)

[3] The L.A. fertility doctor,
Dr. Michael Kamrava, who implanted unmarried, unemployed, unstable Nadya Suleman, with six more embryos after the first batch produced three disabled progeny out of six, should have to pay for the new batch of octuplets until they reach they age of consent. The latest brood was also produced from the same sperm donor.

ABC's chief medical editor, Dr. Nancy Snyderman, said, "Long term, because some of these children will be physically or mentally challenged, there’s a looming price tag out here. The hospital bill alone will run $1.5 to $3 million. . . just to get through special-needs stuff — it’s going to have to come from somewhere, either the taxpayers of California or her family or her church or the hospital. But she can’t do it alone.”

Justice implies taking responsibility for one's actions, and this mass implantation was beyond irresponsible.

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Blogger The Minstrel Boy said...

no arguments from my corner. i've always felt that to be truly a sport the game would need to be armed and able to shoot back.

one of the things that draws me back to the woods for my annual elk hunt though is the elegance of the flintlocks we use. there's a lot more hunting than shooting in a trip like that.

trophy hunters give me a rash, even though they have made it possible for my son to make himself a pretty good living as a guide and outfitter.

pretty soon i'll be too old to go out into the woods anymore. my body is starting to rebel and complain more and more.

one of these trips i'll decide to hang back at the camp and make biscuits and stuff. my heart will die a bit when that happens.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009 at 4:15:00 PM GMT-5  
Blogger rangeragainstwar said...


I recently bought a Hawken rifle, caplock, which I'll probably never shoot, but I used to. I'm gonna hang it on the wall.

One additional concept that should have been in this article: We shouldn't cap the Wall Street executives; rather, we should cap their asses.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 12:20:00 PM GMT-5  
Blogger The Minstrel Boy said...

i love the old hawkins. they are sturdy and trustworthy arms.

the flintlock appeals to the luddite in me. the lightness and form of the pennsylvania long rifle suits me.

as things continue to get worse and melt down i also find comfort in knowing that i have a piece of absolutely sustainable technology.

it also wells up a great respect for the folks that fed and defended their families with those weapons.

i haven't ever named any of mine, but i understand the old timers who did.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 3:07:00 PM GMT-5  

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