Death Knight
The dumber people think you are,
the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them
--William Clayton
Sure it's going to kill a lot of people,
but they may be dying of something else anyway
--Othal Brand
A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you
and fails, and then asks you not to kill him
--Winston Churchill
______________
the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them
--William Clayton
Sure it's going to kill a lot of people,
but they may be dying of something else anyway
--Othal Brand
A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you
and fails, and then asks you not to kill him
--Winston Churchill
______________
I had the pleasure of speaking yesterday with a Marine who was out enjoying the sun on a bench. His talk of being a "killing machine" ties into the previous post.
The forearm tattoo and Marine Corps flags outside of his business were the giveaways, and I asked if he'd been in Vietnam. He said he was on the USS Kitty Hawk off of Vietnam, but never in Vietnam, as he joined the war late. He said he was also present off shore when the U.S. Embassy was overrun and masses of people were fleeing.
He told of his enlistment, how he joined in the Buddy System, how they managed to pass the entrance exam and how his mother signed his enlistment papers allowing him to join at age 17 from the 11th grade.
We spoke all too briefly, but his most poignant tale was of his transformation after Boot Camp at Parris Island. He was a country boy who had never left home, who fished and hunted and enjoyed a rather bucolic life. "The drill sergeants didn't have rules like they do today," he said. They punched, kicked and slapped the recruits into submission.
He used the word "brutalize," explaining they did this to break you all the way down. "But then they do build you back up, but into a killing machine." He explained how some of your self esteem returns, but not all.
I asked if reintegration into civilian life was difficult, and he said it wasn't for him, but allowed it might be different for those who had seen combat. He is married and seems to be a successful businessman.
He did note that he had a great focus on weapons when he came out, and that was because his esteem was wrapped into how good of a killing machine he could be, and the maintenance of his weapons was integral to that.
I was impressed with his good humor, self-awareness and willingness to speak with a stranger.
Labels: killing machines, Marines in ramadi
posted by Lisa at 11:15 AM
3 Comments:
BUDS was the same, more intense in many ways than parris island. the biggest lesson was to teach you that you do, indeed, have a breaking point. they teach you that by bringing you to that point over and over. then, for me it was the third day of "hell week," if i was going to survive the process, where i was pushed to the breaking point time and time again, there was a time where, instead of breaking, i pushed through somehow.
my class instructor was a grizzled master chief who was a veteran of the guys who swam onto the beaches of the islands in the pacific war wearing nothing but swim trunks, to blast passageways through the coral and obstacles. he was a thoroughly scary man. he had piercing black eyes that bored holes into the space in your brain right behind your eyes. he could whither a strong young man by cocking an eyebrow. you knew in your soul that he could bite out your throat and go get a burger, rare. you also knew that there were standards that he had to see met and upheld before he would accept you into his company.
later, i had the honor of serving in the field with that same master chief. one night, i asked him, what was it about me that made it when over 60% of the men who started our training washed out. he thought for a while and said "during hell week, i saw you go zombie. you had wiped your mind of any thought other than accomplishing the last thing we told you to do. you didn't think beyond the very next step. i also realized that somewhere in all of that, you were always saving one last little bit of yourself. i knew you wouldn't hesitate to use that last little bit if the need arose. i thought to myself then, this lad'll do. i'd have him on my team. now, here you are and that's a good thing."
the squandering of these highly trained soldiers in misgotten, drummed up little conflicts. using these men to become kidnappers, torturers and plain ass murderers is a crime almost beyond my comprehension. they take the exquisite fighting force of marine recon and use them as truck drivers. they take the stealthiest silent attack and intelligence force in the world and use them like mafia dons against their rivals.
yeah ranger, we've seen it all before. about all i could do back then, about all i can do now is to hang my head, and mutter to myself:
well, just fuck me tender for believing.
still, it seems, like anyone who's ever had the bad luck to fall in love with a junkie, i always want to find those reasons to believe.
knowing,
that you lied,
straight faced...
MB,
The crime of it all is the squander of these "highly trained soldiers in misgotten, drummed up little conflicts." In Generation Kill one of the Marines says something to the effect, "They train us to be Jaguars, and then put us in a soapbox derby."
In reply, Jim adds, "And still we look for a reason to believe."
MB,
We used to run so far that my tongue used to go completely numb.My fucking tongue, imagine the rest of the pain.I know you know this and that i'm preaching to the choir but we went beyond second wind and went into a place that most people never experience.
Civilian fucks always tell me- i can run 15 miles-and this is true-but can they do it after not sleeping for 3days and being on 1/2 rations and being scared/cold/hot/and you can add the rest of the descriminators.
Well , the bright side is that everybody thanks our sorry little asses 40 years later.
In closing- the 60 % that didn't make it were good men also.I believe my Ranger class 7/69 had a 25% graduation rate with 11 graduating without their tabs.One can graduate without the tab which is often not known.
We used to say.The 1st week we separate the men from the boys. The 2nd we separate the men from the idiots.The 3rd week we graduate the idiots.
jim
.
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