Caustic People

Progressive commercial (2010);
Alice (1970-75)

Like a stone thrown
into the smooth water of a spring,
I had disturbed their peace
—Mihail Lermontov

Peace, like war, can succeed only
where there is a will to enforce it,
and where there is available power
to enforce it
—Franklin D. Roosevelt
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Ranger is strung tighter than a dick's hat band, and in addition to stupidity labelled as liberalism, he is pissed off by many now-standard offenses to his equanimity. Some of the below may simply be quirks of life in the Deep South, but you be the judge.

In an extension of "Down on the Corner":

• Cell phones and the idiots that talk loudly into them over dinner, at coffee shops, bookstores and other erstwhile oases of calmness. We are talking loud and habitual conversations that assault Ranger's ringing and buzzing ears

• People ordering anything in line who fail to make up their minds by the time they reach the clerk. Fuck me, it's only food, and it's all going to end up the same place. It's not life or death; if you don't like your choice this time, there is always tomorrow. Meanwhile, the clock's ticking and you are wasting our time
  

• Grandparents forcing pictures of their grandchildren upon us. Why should we be forced to smile at the result of someone's procreative efforts? Ranger doesn't give a rat's ass about their kids or their grandkids. Isn't their something else in life to discuss?

• People that want to pray for me / on me (whatever that means). I'm beyond redemption, or the desire for redemption. Further, it seems a power grab; we don't need your judgment or your mediation

• People that send cutesy videos that clog my Inbox and have nothing to do with my life (G.D. and U.C. excepted)

• Patriotic people that have never bothered to shit between two combat boots. Ditto having any members of their family wear the national uniform. Don't tell the rest of us what patriotism means

• Phony patriots who tell Ranger he is unpatriotic, even though he is 100% Veterans Administration disability service-connected

• People who cannot answer a question directly and coherently (Lisa seeks a genuflection here which has yet to be forthcoming. Ranger acquiesces, but his point is stylistic.) "Like, what's that all about? I'm, like, TOTALLY! Right?"

• Service people to whom I seem to be invisible due to their interpersonal conversations or other distractions. Progressive Insurance's "Flo" is definitely not the norm in 2011 America. Sad that aside from white linen establishments, good service is often given the heave-ho. It is both those in service and those whom they serve who are at fault for the come-down.

• Driver and truckers that drive aggressively and tailgate at high speeds. In contrast to the above annoyances, these people are like, dangerous. Like totally, right?

• Lisa's addition: Insincere people.
  

We have a particular breed in the South who smile with crinkled eyes yet dislike or even loathe what you say or who you are. They demonstrate a certain false politesse which says, Y'all come by now, y'hear?, but they never set a date and time. These people are also known by their deep conviction that their wives the are prettiest, their offspring, ditto (because even they know "smartest" would be a stretch). If they are smart, is the the result successive generations of selective inbreeding [NOTE: this is Ranger's hard-won wisdom -- you may have a family tree, but there are no branches.] In a word, unsavory in their unfounded arrogance.