RANGER AGAINST WAR: Who Let the Dogs Out?

--Dog Doogity, Martin Luther
(click on pix to hear)

I like the way you work it
No diggity, I got to bag it up, bag it up
--No Diggety, Backstreet

Don't let your dogs do that
on other people's yards
--Deputy Barber

Since God gave man freedom,
we can, if need be, accept the idea
that He is not responsible for man’s crimes.
The responsibility for shit, however,
rests entirely with Him, the Creator of Man
--The Unbearable Lightness of Being,
Milan Kundera
___________________

Today's topic is dog poop. Oh that Tallahassee had the environmental awareness of say, Puget Sound: Dogblog just featured Martin Luther's catchy green vid reminding dog walkers to "bag it up". In the South, pinworms, hookworms -- you name 'em, they're a fact of life. It ain't considered "natch'ull" to touch the dirty deed; just look the other way and move along.

People are confused about dogs. Slate answers in the affirmative today to the query, "Will Your Dog Eat Your Face off if You Die at Home?" Maureen Dowd writes today on "Hitler's Talking Dogs": “At a Nazi study course, a talking dog was once asked ‘Who is Adolf Hitler?’ and replied ‘Mein Führer!” A dog poop-bedeviled individual of the internet community asks, "Am I weird to think dogs are dirty and gross yet cute?": "They are adorable but they poo and pee and remnants remain in their fur." Alas -- it seems you cannot trust them, and they are filthy.

Tallahassee sports billboards saying, "Dog Poop Isn't Cute," explaining that uncontrolled droppings contaminate groundwater. Okay, except the new proposals for Leon County's animal control ordinance do not seem to support this concern; the restrictions do not apply to kittens or puppies younger than 4 months old:

Up to 10 cats and/or dogs would be allowed on properties 1.5 acres or less.
Eleven to 20 dogs and/or cats would be allowed on 1.5 to 2.5 acres.
Twenty-one to 30 dogs and/or cats would be allowed on 2.5 to 5 acres of land.
Thirty or more cats and dogs would be allowed on more than 5 acres.

Whether 11 -20 or 21-30 dogs on 1.5 acres, that is a lot of poop; that is more than overflows from Congress these days. If Ranger builds a house, he must have a septic system or link into sewage disposal for my excrement; however, there is no such legal requirement for dog's poop. This is contrary to public health concerns! Why is it permissible for dogs to defecate whenever and wherever they want?

Why are my feces regulated by health department codes but not those of dogs owned by humans? In short, owners of multiple dogs should be required to install septic systems to sanitarily deal with the dog's excrement.

[The topic is near and dear the Ranger's heart as a neighbor installed a dog kennel housing 20+ large dogs within 150 yards of his house several years ago. In his rural county, there was no health code restricting this wholesale production of poop; septic tanks are only required for humans.]

Tempers flare high on this issue. While we are always keen to display Florida's multifarious episodes of malfeasance, sometimes, Mississippi outdoes us:

Blasingame told the AP that they argued because Tenhet shot his dog last week and threatened to kill him and his dog "over poop."

Tenhet denies shooting the dog: "I said 'Jerry, your dog ain't even dead. He said 'Just meet me at the levee and I'll shoot you down."'

Blasingame said he got a gun and left the house in his truck, hoping Tenhet would follow so there would be no confrontation in front of bystanders.

Blasingame says Tenhet was armed when he returned to the neighborhood: "(Tenhet) said, 'Point that gun at me.' I said, 'No, point that gun at me.' He shot twice. I returned fire."

Tenhet says he was unarmed when Blasingame returned and told Tenhet he was going to shoot him: "I said, man, do what you gotta do" before Blasingame opened fire.