RANGER AGAINST WAR: The Raw and the Cooked <

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

The Raw and the Cooked

--The Undead Meets the Unborn

The clothes that are considered right to wear

Will not be either sensible or cheap,

So long as we consent to live like sheep

And never mention those who disappear

--Leap Before You Look,
W. H. Auden

Parsons was Winston's fellow employee

at the Ministry of Truth.

He was a fattish but active man of paralyzing stupidity

a mass of imbecile enthusiasms –

one of those completely unquestioning, devoted drudges

on whom, more even than on the thought police,

the stability of the Party depended

George Orwell (I, ii)

The image a society evolves of the relationship
between the living and the dead is,
in the final analysis, an attempt,
on the level of religious thought,
to conceal, embellish or justify
the actual relationships which prevail among the living
--Tristes Tropiques, Claude Levi-Strauss

Zombie (n.): an animated corpse brought to life
by mystical means like witchcraft

After writing Zombie Zoo, Ranger was overcome by Easter excitement in his ville, which got his little Ranger brain to thinking: "Wasn't Jesus a zombie, too?" Throw in Lazarus and a few others who had also begun down that road of human destiny politely called, "decay".

Zombies have taken on a pall, but why should they be relegated to the marginalia of hoodoo or witchcraft when the devotees of our major religion stateside have a zombie as a savior? Why "Night of the Living Dead" or Woody Harrelson when we think of the undead, when we could just as easily put Jesus in that category?

Our ancestors burned women at the stake for suspicion of practicing witchcraft and we have always frowned on necromancy and necrophilia (though Ranger does have his own stories of approximation, ahem), yet we hypocritically turn around and have sunrise Easter services based on Zombiemania? "He is arisen" . . . from the DEAD!

And if you are Catholic or Anglican, you now "eat" of his zombiefied body 2,000 years on, once a week if you are faithful! People, if you take the words of the bible literally -- which is how you should, if you believe it -- how is this different than Idi Amin's cannibalism? Gross, yeah?

Some sticklers will say that zombies eat brains, and therefore, Jesus cannot be a zombie. But how do you know he did not eat sweetbreads, specifically,
urdu, as it's known in Ranger's home neck of the woods? Does a belief in a Stone- or Bronze-Age god imply a loss of gray matter?

So why write about Zombie Jesus? Well, we shoot the Zombie Osama bin Laden in effigy (pretty stupid since zombies are undead, anyway), while we laud his killer-in-chief, Mr. Obama. Hillary Clinton recently commented they "couldn't breathe" for the 35 minutes they were watching his shooting -- not breathing is pretty zombie-like. However, both of those living people are more dangerous and zombie-like than OBL had the ability to be.

We fear the wrong zombies, and worship indiscriminately. Why is OBL feared, but not Bush or Obama, or any other U.S. leader?

Who or what is eating your brain?
We are curious, and wonder if you are abdicating bits of it voluntarily for your own reasons.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

If your goin' gripe and ask me to join in then you got it.

Corporate life is eating my brain and I am feeding it voluntarily; albeit reluctantly.

Like a zombie it has no heart. It only mindlessly eats. It's favorite food is those who think and feel and are dedicated, loyal and hard working or just plain gullible. It consumes live humans and shits out profits. Hard working employees are nutrious to the zombie and most favorable to its digestive tract.

I'm not even trying to climb the ladder any more, just keeping my head down, doing a good job (because that's the kind of responsible fool I am) and hoping to stay employed until one (or more) of my supposedly talented race horses makes the big time (this year?). Then, with a little financial cushion, I can get out and rejoin the living full time; the living being mostly four legged at this point in my life. Or maybe until I just give it all up and sit on a street corner with a guitar hoping a few dollars land in the open case.

I used to try to climb to success because I thought I had to,probably to prove something to my father - who was a big shot - which seems to be why i did a lot of things i didn't really feel right about deep down inside (all of which made me yet another subspecies of zombie bate).

I just got back from Virginia where I just buried my Dad. It was a whirlwind; DNR decisions. Some last words between us at the death bed, a road trip down and back for a funeral....I don't even have time to process all of the related sh!t that's going through my head and heart because my zombie lords have a new project for me to start.

But there are bills to pay because yet other zombies in other businesses also only see me as meat to be converted to profit. They own my ass because I bought into their ways. Thought I could conceal myself amongst them and use them to work my field of dreams. Thought a living breathing mind could easily use, if not triumph over, a bunch of dead eating machines. I was wrong.

Verily, the zombies shall inherit the earth.


Tuesday, April 17, 2012 at 9:45:00 PM GMT-5  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Raw and cooked enough for you?


Tuesday, April 17, 2012 at 9:46:00 PM GMT-5  
Blogger Lisa said...

I am sorry to hear of your loss, avedis. It sounds like you are deep into understanding, with one foot complicit, and one foot out. You have a plan, and that is very good.

I used to think I could be amongst the moral zombies and be o.k., but I now know that there is no way to remain aloof. That defines them -- they erode our sense of surety of goodness and self. We are all at risk.

That is what was so frightening about "The Invasion of the Body Snatchers," for they are here, among us, maybe even in our own homes. So you see, we're complicit, until we wake up. It can be a painful pill to swallow. One eases one's way out, a part at a time, I think.

I wish you peace at this time.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012 at 9:52:00 PM GMT-5  
Blogger rangeragainstwar said...

I 'm sorry for your loss.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012 at 7:26:00 AM GMT-5  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks, Jim & Lisa for the condolences.

back to zombies.....it's gets even better (not).

So after the funeral we went down to Norfolk where my daughter and her fiance are stationed. I had given her a pistol a few years ago when she was on her own and in a not so good area. It's a 9mm Makarov. She doesn't need it now and she returned it to me with a couple clips of ammo. I put a round in the chamber, decocked and slipped it into a fanny pack under the front seat. Figured it's always good to be safe, especially with the wife to take care of and a long drive through unfamiliar areas.

Well, the next day while I am dealing with the corporate zombies at 0900 sharp, the wife returns the rental car without telling me. She had taken everything out of it *except* the fanny pack contaning the loaded pistol.

To make a long story short, hand guns are just about totally illegal in NY state and their illegality is serious stuff - loaded concealed ones even more so - unless one has the proper (almost impossible to get) permit; which neither my wife nor I have.

The rental car place finds the fanny pack, opens it (jerks) and finds the pistol and immediately calls the cops.

The cops show up and arrest my wife. I explained to them that she was ignorant of the pistol being in the car (why else would she turn in the car with the pistol in it?) and that if anyone is to be arrested in should be. I'm begging to be arrested and they refuse to do it even though I am confessing knowingly violating the law.

Both my wife and I explain the circumstances, explain the family's long and full military history and knowledge of proper and safe use of firearms, explain that the pistol was purchased by myself, new and legally in a different (more lenient/reasonable) state..explain that my intent is to immediately attempt to obtain a proper permit..a hearing is scheduled first week of next month. Depending on how they want to go with this my wife could very well be looking at a mandatory 1 year in jail; possibly more despite having no previous criminal or misdemeanor arrests or convictions.None.

More mind eating zombies. Just trying to the best we can, staying out of trouble and trying to take of ourselves, two kids fighting their stupid wars with one most definitely in harm's way and my wife, giving free riding lessons to disadvantaged kids in the community, always smiling always ready to lend a hand to those in need possibly being locked up.

Zombies are never satiated ar they


Wednesday, April 18, 2012 at 9:51:00 AM GMT-5  
Blogger Lisa said...


This is absolute madness, and makes me furious. Surely, surely, these very real mitigating circumstances can be argued by competent representation.

If it were I, I would be at my representative's office tout de suite.

Please keep us updated.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012 at 1:40:00 PM GMT-5  
Blogger rangeragainstwar said...

We have created a whole new class of imprisoned felons- they are called firearms violations.Screw the 2nd amendment.
I have had personal friends bite the bullet on those convictions.
Welcome to the gulag.
I wish you the best.

Thursday, April 19, 2012 at 7:17:00 AM GMT-5  
Blogger Lisa said...


I inquired of a friend affiliated with the NRA this morning and he explained this as Mr. Bloomburg's contribution to the city's coffers:

As long as you secure a good atty. familiar with such cases, the result should be that you pay a heavy fine in exchange for your wife's freedom.

"His truth is marching on . . ."

Thursday, April 19, 2012 at 11:13:00 AM GMT-5  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks Lisa. It is very kind of you to do some leg work on my family's behalf.

I talked to the NRA myself (great minds think alike). Apparently while all of NY state is quite draconian regarding handguns, NYC is even more so. Fortunately, I am in upstate NY. I have identified a good lawyer with experience in this area. We meet with him next week.

In a bit of good fortune, it turns out the vilage judge that will preside over the case is also the chief at out local VFW chapter. he is very sympathetic to veterans and military families.

The lawyer says that his gut reaction is that, due to the judges predilictions and my wife's spotless record (not even a parking ticket) she will probably only receive a fine - maybe even a suspended misdemeanor sentence.

He is worried, however, that they might turn around and charge me. So he wants to navigate the negotiations in such a way that I don't come into the picture. i would probably also recieve a fine and all of that as opposed to jail time, but why pay double if not necessary?

I guess I am lucky. Going down to Aqueduct and Belmont race tracks I have always carried. This morning I passed my remaining handgun to a friend who has a permit to keep until such time that my application is processed and approved.

Thanks again for your interest in our wellbeing. i will let you know how it works out. I am feeling less stressed than i was yesterday.


Thursday, April 19, 2012 at 11:43:00 AM GMT-5  
Blogger Lisa said...


Thanks for your speedy response. It sounds like all will go your way due to these fortuitous circumstances. Good luck keeping yourself out of the picture; since it was only your wife charged, this should be possible.

I am glad you are feeling less stressed today. Yes, please do keep us updated.

Crossing my fingers for you.

Thursday, April 19, 2012 at 12:05:00 PM GMT-5  

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