Town and Country

THUNDER RANCH URBAN RIFLE ILLUMINATION SYSTEM
--Quickly convert your AR-15 to an Urban Rifle (Brownells 100-003-041 )

Ok you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this?
This... is my boomstick! The 12-gauge double-barreled
Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the
sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in
Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95.
It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger.
That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?
--Army of Darkness (1992), Sam Raimi
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To all the anti-gun whiners out there complaining about people on the Terror Watch List buying firearms legally in America...

Ranger says, FIGHT BACK. Convert your rifle to the Urban Rifle Illuminations system. This is an essential upgrade to fight al Qaeda when they follow our troops home. It will illuminate their camel's eyes to good effect.

That is, if your troops do come home.

I love the contraposition of the the descriptors: thunder ranch / urban rifle. This baby'll take you from the bush to the mean streets and back. It implies that you are a good old boy, but sometimes, will be called upon to stalk that concrete jungle. When you are, you've got the camo to wear (though it will be woodlands, and not desert), and the rifle to suit up with. Damn the torpedoes. Watch out ne'er-do-wells--we're here to ferret you out of your urban bunkers.

I ordered my system with a veteran's discount. Republicans probably won't qualify.