Just Say "No" to Eggheads

We wanna get a statement for Jesus' sake
It's like a talking to a wall
--Communique, Dire Straits

Number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine
Industrial allows financial imbalance
--Revolution No. 9, The Beatles
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As a good Southerner, former President Clinton said recently of Sarah Palin, basically, God Bless her. We should be happy she has gotten where she has, but basically, we should focus on rejecting the message of the republican party. I agree that knocking Palin's grating midwestern accent and vacuous speech is wasted energy.

However, her iteration in the last debate of the U.S. as the "City on the Hill," conservative WaPo columnist Parker's observations on republican fanaticism (Omen in my Mail), and some recent FOX news commentators disparaging the Democratic ticket as anti-American "eggheads" prompt some final thoughts on her existence on a presidential ticket.

A large contingent of Americans want a moose-hunting missy facing down chardonnay sippin' Sarkozy or charmer Putin. They want a new Dan'l Boone or Andrew Jackson. Sarah is the natural inheritor of Betsy Ross, Florence Nightingale, Susan B. Anthony and Sacajawea. Issuing a stamp or a coin is not adequate recompense for years of misogyny. Sarah is a sop to the GOP Women.

In addition, not only is Palin an age antidote for McCain, she is an elitist antidote to Obama and Biden. In her mediocrity is her treasure. I find her grating midwestern accent as purgative as ipecac. She is Frances McDormand's Chief Marge Gunderson on acid. But try as he may hugging the bikers, McCain is a pretty, well-born fly boy, while Palin is one of them.

Sarah Palin is our Equal Opportunity, Title IX Queen VeePee nominee. She is the apex of E. O. Employeedom. You thought you had hit it with Condoleeza Rice, Colin Powell and Nancy Pelosi. You would be wrong. Ms. Palin has hit the Pale.

Palin appeals to a wired nation accustomed to such fantasies as 2003's "Love Actually," in which Hugh Grant's British Prime Minister falls for his chubby, tattooed, Brixton-talking tart of a donut dolly. Only at the movies; yet somehow, cinema has now replaced real life.

Gosh darn it, a large contingent of heartland American's will vote the McCain-Palin ticket simply out of a sense of social affiliation. Change is coming down, for sure, but at least they will be comforted by recognizing their shepherd. Obama is a black sheep.

In a time when change is truly needed, all we are really offered by either party is a change of window dressing.