Just How Stupid Are We?

--Stupid Decade, Pat Bagley

Stupid is as stupid does
--Forrest Gump (1994)
_______________

File under: You Can't be a Great Nation Like This.

The Food and Drug Administration's warnings are mailed to my Inbox, and today's from our local Publix market caught my eye:

Publix Issues Allergy Alert on Pecans in Publix Pumpkin Pecan Streusel Pie

Company Contact:
Maria Brous
863-680-5339

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – December 29, 2009 – Publix Super Markets is issuing a voluntary recall for Publix Pumpkin Pecan Streusel Pie, because it was mislabeled and may contain undeclared pecans. People who have an allergy or severe sensitivity to pecans run the risk of allergic reaction if they consume this product. Product was prepared at Publix stores for retail sale between November and December 2009. The recalled product has a UPC number of: 002- 95118-20399-7 and is packaged in a 30 ounce plastic container. The name of the product describes the product as "Pumpkin Pecan Streusel Pie. . .

"As part of our commitment to food safety and in cooperation with the FDA, we are issuing this voluntarily recall," said Maria Brous, Publix director of media and community relations. "Since customers may still have these pies in their homes, we wanted to take every precaution to make them aware of the pecan as an ingredient."

What are these "undeclared pecans"? Have they snuck over the border? Are they Mexican?

"... every precaution to make them aware of the pecan as an ingredient." So, if listing "pecan" in the label "Pumpkin Pecan Streusel Pie" is not adequate, I am at a loss. How much further can one go to aid the clueless? Should the pie makers put a mini Bozo the Clown pop-up on each box, trumpeting the demon pecan?

Whaaa?

Solid as a Rock

Curtain up! Light the lights!
You got nothing to hit but the heights!
--Everything's Coming Up Roses,
Sondheim and Styne
___________

Heads up, Ranger readers:

Ever at the ready, the FDA has released a warning that Chinese herbal supplements Strong Testis [sic] and Lady Shangai, "marketed for the treatment of erectile dysfunction (ED) and for sexual enhancement," might, um, cause an erection. The products "contain sildenafil, the active ingredient in Viagra, an FDA-approved drug for erectile dysfunction."

The problem is in the labeling. The products are not supplements because "they contain undeclared active ingredients of FDA-approved prescription drugs for erectile dysfunction." Of course, an additional concern arises from the Chinese-sourced ingredients, possibly grown along the cancerous Yangtze or eponymous Yellow Rivers.

What if it turned your member a radioactive orange? Given, once one got past the shock, it might prove valuable navigating dark environs, rather like an aisle attendant's baton at a theater. But who knows if the lights would go down with the curtain?

Dr. Woodcock (you can't make these things up), FDA's chief medical officer, said Strong Testis "put consumers at considerable risk because [it] contains undeclared active ingredients in FDA approved drugs. . ." The FDA urges consumers to report "any adverse events that they feel are related to the use of these products."

I'm not sure I have gotten the hang of this. By "adverse," do they mean, "flaccidity"?

Lutefisk Next?

This isn't for the ones who blindly follow
Jingoistic bumper stickers telling you
To love it or leave it, and you'd better love Jesus
And get out of the way of the red, white and blue

--On With the Song, Mary Chapin Carpenter
____________

Yesterday, it was Hostess carrot cake disguised as pound; today, pickled herring with glass shards. All the good stuff.

In an FDA press release today,

IKEA wants customers who have purchased an IKEA FOOD labeled jar of marinated herring at the Swedish Food Markets at IKEA stores to return it to their local IKEA store for a full refund.

IKEA has received two reports where customers have found a large piece of glass in IKEA FOOD labeled jars of marinated herring. There has been no report of injuries.

When I last mentioned the FDA, it was in context of their doing a better job policing than the police are. In truth, what the FDA does well is to disseminate press releases via their website. No press release from self-policing companies, no report.

Consumer Reports, the publication of Consumers Union, a usually non-partisan group, has taken an uncharacteristic political stance in their June 2007 Editorial:

They ask ''whether the agencies charged with safeguarding our health and safety are doing as much as they should be. Consumers Union doesn't think so, and part of the reason they aren't is money. . .(They) are hobbled by their budgets.''

Of the Consumer Products Safety Commission (CPSC) they say:

''The CPSC is requesting $63.3 million for the next fiscal year, a bump of $880,000. That's a paltry amount to add to the already tight budget of the federal safety agency responsible for more than 150,000 types of consumer products.''

''Cuts of 51 employees in the past two fiscal years have already drained the agency of some of its deepest knowledge and left it with the smallest staff in its history: just 401 full-time staffers. We can't afford losses like those.''

Of the Food and Drug Administration:

''A recent AP analysis of FDA records found that from 2003 to 2006 the agency cut inspection of food manufacturing facilities in half. A former FDA official, William Hubbard, wrote in the Washington Post that because of the mainly flat budget, U.S. food processors are inspected on average only once every 10 years.''

''Even if the current administration does little to encourage increased safety efforts, Congress should.''

The New York Times reports:

"Although (the FDA) is responsible for monitoring 80 percent of the food supply, the bill that authorizes its funding gives it just $10.6 million for food safety.

By contrast, the Department of Agriculture, which regulates 20 percent of the food supply, receives $104 million for its meat inspection program and $164 million for food emergencies and other food safety responsibilities. The disparity is reflected in food-borne illness rates. In 1993 there were 3,700 illnesses connected to food regulated by the U.S.D.A. — meat and poultry — and 6,700 from food regulated by the F.D.A. In 2004, the latest year for which figures are available, the U.S.D.A. cases had dropped to 2,300 while the F.D.A.’s had risen to 10,300." ("Who's Watching What We Eat?")

It may be too cynical to imagine that the USDA--the meat patroller--is funded better because Republicans aren't the avant-garde of the vegans.

So, as your hard-earned tax dollars go marching off to the Middle East, be mindful that if you don't feel well, you might be suffering a little more than indigestion over the matter.

Keep a morbid hope that some other poor soul falls ill first, tipping off the appropriate agencies. And if need be, that there are still antibiotics around capable of fighting off any infection you might contract. Medicine development follow the business model, after all, and profit is king (''The Coming Plague.'')

--Lisa