Buying the Farm

Green acres is the place for me.
Farm livin' is the life for me.
Land spreadin' out so far and wide
Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside
--Green Acres, Vic Mizzy

The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie
-- deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth
-- persistent, persuasive and unrealistic
--John F. Kennedy

Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
--Turning Japanese, the Vapors
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FarmVille.com's come-on is, "Grow delicious fruits and vegetables and raise adorable animals on your very own farm!" Except it isn't your farm -- it's a virtual farm in the ether.

But if you buy into it, you will fritter away precious hours harvesting those ersatz blueberries in your futile quest for money and satisfaction. Strawberries grow in four hours; eggplant, two days. So unless you buy into the Perelandra paradigm, real life this ain't.

FarmVille is currently the most popular Facebook application, with over 60 million subscribers. In a real life nostalgic for the ideal, Washington farmer Donna Schoonover says of her particpation in the simulacra farming, "This was a way to remind myself of the mythology of farming, and why I started farming in the first place" (To Harvest Squash, Click Here.) Farm Town, MyFarm and Farm Life are other, less popular, online farming games.

Self-described "Hardcore player" Becky Roberts, 49, plaintively says "they will die if you don’t tend to them," which is why she "sometimes set[s] her clock at night to make sure she tends to high-maintenance plants at two-hour intervals" (Facebook's 11 Million Farmers.)

Adam Nash on his site Psychohistory plots out the game dynamics in, The Personal Economics of FarmVille. He says most people play for coins, but a few are playing for experience points, which he ignores in his tabulations, obviously a lesser goal.

The Pet Rock was a wonderful spoof of the self-absorption of the Me Decade, which hadn't the time for such trivialities as tending to the needs of others. Ditto the Chia Pet, which did however require some sporadic watering (but little else).

In 1996 the Tamagotchi pet was introduced -- really, a brightly colored plastic egg with three buttons which would allow the owner to feed, play, clean, or ascertain its "age, discipline, hunger, happiness and other statistics." With neglect, your Tamagotchi would die, a source of deep shame.

The AIBO (Artificial Intelligence robot, homonymous with pal in Japanese) was introduced by Sony in 1999, but discontinued in 2006. It was a brief venture into AI in which the AIBO owner could "teach" the robotic dog certain commands, without having the inconvenience of feeding or scooping poop. As with a Tamagotchi, if one got bored, AIBO could be switched off and banished to a corner.

So why the fascination with virtual pets and plants? It's a beautiful day, and I can't wait to go out. Is it that people do not want to dirty their hands? Do they yearn for connection, but not so much so that they are willing to take on all that true commitment requires?

Do they they feel they will fail, and there is less grieving involved in the death of a Tamagotchi? The burial -- an unceremonious toss on the rubbish heap, is certainly easier and less costly and time-consuming than the real thing. After all, a new and updated model awaits.

Why would one connect with the simulacrum when the real awaits?

[Cross-posted at Big Brass Blog.]