Running on Empty

Don't know much about history
Don't know much biology
Don't know much about a science book
Don't know much about the French I took
--George Bush Theme Song
aka Don't Know Much About History, Sam Cooke

As GM Goes, So Goes the Nation
--slogan when GM was the nation's
powerhouse industry
______________

Sometimes the stories just write themselves.

Today's Tallahassee Democrat featured three stories on page 7A not about the FSU football team:

1. 51,000 U.S. Jobs Vanish in July
2. GM Posts 15.5 Billion 2nd Quarter Loss, 3rd-Worst in its History
3. Big Oil's Biggest Quarter Ever, $51.5 Billion in All

"[GM] is running short on time if it keeps burning through more than $1 billion in cash every month." The auto company reported the loss Friday, "the third-worst quarterly performance in its nearly 100-year history."

"Employers cut their payrolls by 51,000 net jobs [in July], bringing the total reduction in the nation's job count this year to 463,000. The ranks of the unemployed increased by 285,000 people in the month, continuing a steady deterioration in the job market that began at the end of last year (Jobless Rate Hits a High, Dims Hope For Recovery.)

"Workers without advanced skills have been hit the hardest. Among people without a high school diploma, the rate has increased to 8.5 percent, from 7.2 percent."

On the bright side, "Oil giants Chevron Corp. and Total SA wrapped up a string of gargantuan, record-breaking earnings reports Friday, a stretch in which six of the major international oil companies topped $50 billion in combined profit for the first time." Clearly, those poor sods in the ranks of the undereducated unemployed had not gotten themselves into the right business. Stocking shelves at WalMart and serving customers at Burger King is simply not good for one's vita nor portfolio.

What does this mean? These newly fired 51,000 will not be buying new GM vehicles, and even if they did, could they afford the gas? Another bright side: they won't need them anyway, as they don't have jobs to travel to.

"On the campaign trail, Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama responded to the gloomy economic news by calling for a fresh round of $1,000 rebate checks to be sent to taxpayers. The $65 billion cost would be covered through a tax on oil companies' windfall profits. "

I'm sure we all love the scent of freshly minted T-bills in the morning, and who could be against handing out money, especially when one is to be the recipient of said funds? But does anyone see the absurdity inherent in this gesture?

In fact, we may soon go the way of Zimbabwe, which just this week decided to drop the last 10 zeroes off the price of everything (Inflation champ Zimbabwe lops 10 zeros off currency.) Alas, 10 billion dollars is back to being a dollar. Viola!

Zimbabwe knows a thing or two about inflation. A loaf of bread had jumped to $200 billion the previous week, an unseemly figure. The tabulating machines simply couldn't handle those astronomical figures. Now, as if by magic, that same loaf is down to a mere $20. The inflation rate in that beleaguered nation, the highest in the world, is 2.2 million percent a year.

We're not quite there. But our central bank may decide to do some fancy dancing Zimbabwe-style before we make it through the disastrous results of the last seven years of corrupt fiscal policy.

We reckon "In God We Trust" is a great motto, since we no longer have General Motors.