Scotts Valley SWAT

Where wild flowers spring and the wee birdies sing
On the steep steep side of Ben Lomond
But the broken heart it kens nae second spring
Though resigned we may be while we're greetin
--Loch Lomand
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This photo fronted May's Scotts Valley Times. Swat Valley it ain't, but Scotts Valley may just be the newest municipality with its very own badass SWAT vehicle, er, "tank".

The SV Times services the lovely hamlets of Ben Lomand (pop.2,364), Boulder Creek (4,015), Felton (976) and the biggie, Scotts Valley itself (11,159), for a grand total of 18, 514 proud citizens off the slightly traveled Highway 9 in Northern California.

The SV nine-person SWAT team previously unceremoniously "rode to high-risk situations in a minivan and unmarked police cruisers." No more: "The . . . armored truck weighs more tha 24,000 lbs. (12 tons), is impervious to bullets, the doors can acts as shields when open and has gun ports on all sides." Not too shabby.

I wonder if the Afghan police in the Swat valley have their own SWAT Swat Team? That would be pretty cool. I can see a starring role for Denzel somewhere in the cast.

I also wonder -- with a population under 12,000, what is the worst that might befall this lovely valley, accessed only via a tortuous road through big redwoods? Perhaps a rogue Mexican leaf blower from outside Carmel (because Carmel is wise enough to have city noise ordinances which prohibit such abominations) comes into the Valley and drinks one too may Dos Eqquis at Alice's Restaurant, challenging some Harley Riders on perfectly polished bikes to a dust up?

Very unlikely some really bad Surenos would make the 1,000 mile trek for a gang bang in Ben Lomand.

Swat has a very nice community library with a computer and a $5 membership fee. Might the SWAT money not have been better spent making their library free, and adding a few computers to the bank?

Should Scotts Valley have the bad black SWAT vehicle? Wants vs. Needs. FAO Schwarz meets every wealthy child's most extravagant toy desires. Hammacher Schlemmer does the same for adults. Do you need a $15,000 Breitling when a $40 Timex will do the same job?

Thorstein Veblen's conspicuous consumption is alive and well, and for those who can afford to chose, every choice up or down makes a statement.

What does Scotts Valley's new armored SWAT vehicle say?