A Better Mousetrap

Hunting had ceased to be what you call 'a sporting proposition.'
It had become too easy. I always got my quarry. Always.
There is no greater bore than perfection.

I hunt the scum of the earth: sailors from tramp ships--
lassars, blacks, Chinese, whites, mongrels--
a thoroughbred horse or hound is worth more than a score of them."
--The Most Dangerous Game, Richard Connnell
_________

New revelations about U.S. military techniques to ensnare potential targets in Iraq prompt many thoughts in Ranger's mind, living as he does in a hunting-friendly neck of the woods.

From the WaPo:

"A Pentagon group has encouraged some U.S. military snipers in Iraq to target suspected insurgents by scattering pieces of "bait," such as detonation cords, plastic explosives and ammunition, and then killing Iraqis who pick up the items, according to military court documents.

"Capt. Matthew P. Didier, the leader of an elite sniper scout platoon attached to the 1st Battalion of the 501st Infantry Regiment, said in a sworn statement. "Basically, we would put an item out there and watch it. If someone found the item, picked it up and attempted to leave with the item, we would engage the individual as I saw this as a sign they would use the item against U.S. Forces" (U.S. Aims to lure Insurgents with "Bait").

Engage being military-speak for kill, many questions arise for these "engaged individuals":

• Does it count if they are under five feet tall? Must you pass up the shot?
• Do you get extra points for an Imam? Bonus points if it's in a burkha?
• Do two kids = one adult in the body count?
• If the engaged individual doesn't have a rifle, does that count as a confirmed kill? Are they only "suspected" bad guys after we've killed those particular engaged targets?
• Can you fix them when they are within three feet of bait? How long must they finger the bait before you can take them out?
• Have they considered putting some pheromones on the bait to up the attraction?
• Doesn't this count as shooting over a baited field? If so, then this counts as sport, yes?

A Sporting Proposition

This last point is rife with troublesome implications for the Army.

It would cause a blurring of the concept of military versus civilian arms, a popular topic with opponents of the 2nd Amendment. This might rule out the use of certain weapons. In this particular endeavor, should the military therefore use civilian weapons?

Will we need to introduce game wardens into the theatre of operations to keep this a sporting proposition? According to classic theories of hunting over a baited field, you must bait the field all year long in order to legally hunt there.

There must also be declared open seasons. Generally, you are not allowed to shoot bucks and does at the same time.

These thoughts arise because if we are introducing democracy, we must go all out with the concept. We must have a sportsman package that is game.


Moon over the Euphrates

Will there be bag limits? If you bag the highest number of fair targets within a certain period, do you win a good sportsmanship prize?

Here's a big thought both for beefing up our forces and helping finance the Iraq undertaking:

Ranger proposes selling hunting junkets to the Guns and Ammo crowd. They've hunted the Big Four; they've been on safari to Africa. Now, they could be enlisted to hunt the Ultimate Game. They would sign responsibility waivers, they would provide their own gear. The opportunity of a lifetime for some decked out, Lee Greenwood-listening hunters just chomping at the bit to do their patriotic duty.

Just a thought.

Did Vice Vice President Dick Cheney, avid sportsman that he is, advocate this policy? It is certain that his attorney did not.