Peace is our Product

Yesterday the Tallahassee Democrat noted that robberies are up 17% so far this year in our fair city. The same upturn was noted nationwide according to FBI crime statistics, though the average rate of increase was lower.

So here's a Ranger idea for addressing the problem:

Back in the 1970's, the Army trained snipers for possible use in civil disobedience scenarios, paralleling the FBI's Cointelpro. In fact, the establishment expected large-scale riots a la Hough in Cleveland to become a commonplace occurrence. Racial strife was the core issue, so the Army's response was -- what else? -- to train snipers for domestic use. Hence, my sniper course was a "special" sniper program; we were trained to shoot in U.S. cities.

And you though Kent State was an aberration.

So bringing the war home, let's use the lessons learned in Iraq -- the world's newest democracy -- to help lower our own cities' crime rates. If it's democratic enough for use in our Baghdad freedom initiative, than it is good enough for U.S. streets, n'est ce pas?

Since robberies tend to increase in times of financial stress, the idea would be to put out entrapment scenarios and/or cash-laden wallets variously and variably around town. Cover the trap with sniper fire, and when the bait is nibbled, blast them into the next grid square.

Certainly you weren't thinking some kind of initiatives to help the economy or the disenfranchised, were you? We're talking Army Strong solutions, here.

They are reporting progress on the ground in Iraq. It would be a pity to have all of that highly trained talent go to waste. It seems only right.