Retrograde

She's got a competition clutch with the four on the floor
And she purrs like a kitten till the Lake pipes roar
And if that ain't enough to make you flip your lid
There's one more thing, I got the pink slip, Daddy
--Little Deuce Coupe, Beach Boys

Oh lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends.
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So lord, wont you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
--Mercedes Benz, Janis Joplin

I ran over some old lady
One night at the county fair
And I didn't get arrested
Because my dad's the mayor
--Bitchin' Camero, Dead Milkmen
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In the past few weeks we've happened upon some auto visuals which explain some of today's problems.

The first shows a classic 1960's Mini next to a 2003 version. The 60's car looks like a toy, though it is next to its modern version which itself is sometimes described as a soapbox derby car. In comparison, today's Mini looks positively palatial.

Next, Ranger's Mini Clubsman -- the "wagon" version of the Mini -- is seen next to a Cadillac SUV Escalade. Now, the modern "big" Mini looks like a tyke's car, dwarfed as it is by the luxury SUV which permits its owners to move up ("escalate"?) through society.

The 60's Mini got over 45 m.p.g; the new Minis get 27-42 m.p.g, depending upon engine configuration and driving conditions. The modern Minis run at 116-175 horsepower, where the Cadillac SUV is a hulking 430 HP with 12-18 m.p.g. (on a great day). [As an aside, Mini has an electric version and a 95 horsepower version available, but only in Europe. The reasoning is that Americans won't buy an underpowered fuel efficient car, so says the Mini maniacs.]

It seems the U.S. car market is moving in the wrong direction.

Shouldn't our vehicles be getting more fuel efficient rather than less? Driving gas hogs ensures a tether to the crazy Middle East, and petroleum-generated locomotion will be outmoded eventually. Why aren't we innovating, versus designing new grilles?

We won't look to Eminem for an explanation.

Hubris

Most of the greatest evils that man
has inflicted upon man have come through people
feeling quite certain about things that were in fact false
--Bertrand Russell
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Today Ranger went to Capital Eurocars in Tallahassee to look at Porsche Boxters with the idea of buying a little relief from a mid-life/old man syndrome (or as it's more pointedly known, crisis.)

Mike L. -- client-advisor -- was a likable enough young guy, up to a point, which was when asked, "What is the gas mileage?" Note the question did not pertain to price, only fuel efficiency.

Client-advisor Mike promptly replied, as if on cue, "If you have to ask, then you can't afford this vehicle." Ranger is a grown man, and that is not the sort of patronizing answer which floats his boat. It is not an answer at all, it is an obnoxious judgment.

I pay cash for everything -- land, houses or cars. Wasn't I the guy without a debt and free to do as I choose, and Mike the guy hustling for his commission? I was looking at a car, not looking to join some arrogant imaginary club which excluded the hoi polloi who actually are concerned about depleting resources.

Anyway, Mike was right. I can't afford the car. Though the price is within grasp, the bullshit and snobbiness is not in my budget. That's not a club Ranger needs to belong to.

I'll stick with my Mini. It is paid for, and the salesmen were more than happy to talk fuel economy, because they know that just because you can afford to squander resources does not mean you should.